The Loss of a Publisher, and the New Addition

This month seems to hold a lot of activity. Not only am I writing regularly again, but I've been practicing routines like crazy (and waiting for my schedule to become "normal" again), and now there is a new family member in our Little House in the Big Woods!

First, a moment of silence for the passing of Pill Hill Press. This publisher was the first to take a chance on my work. They took on my story, "The Oni," and published it in their anthology "Leather, Denim, and Silver: Legends of the Monster Hunter." They also took my third and my fourth stories. (Wicked East Press, one closely associated with Pill Hill Press, took the second one, if I remember the order correctly.) Last August I had submitted a story to their Psycho Cinema anthology.

The answer I got back was not the one I was expecting. Pill Hill Press had decided to close down. By the time I read the email announcement, the website and the forum were already removed. Wicked East just sent an email that while the closing has affected much of their working, they intend to continue after things are straightened out, so that's good to know.

I'm not sure how this will effect the anthologies for sale on Amazon, etc. Maybe someday, when I'm a world famous writer, they will become precious collector items. ;) (I dream big, though my true intentions usually aren't that grand.)

But the writing continues. Today, the writing continues with a lapful of purring kitten.

Please welcome Dexter, male tortie extraordinaire!

I didn't realize male tortoiseshells were so rare, though I knew male calicoes were. Something about the color pattern only passing through the female XX chromosomes, but sometimes a male is born with XXY.

We'd been looking at many cats lately, through the Facebook pages of Clear Creek Cat Rescue (where we got Daisy) and Alaska Cat Adoptions Team (ACAT, who often bring cats to Petzoo for adoption days too). We were wanting a boy who was laid back, liked dogs, liked to play, and preferably young.

I saw this picture on ACAT's Facebook, and the description included liking dogs and playing. When I saw that sweet face, I yelled, "That's my boy!"

I immediately posted that we wanted to adopt him. When the foster mom got back to me, she said someone had laid claim first, but declined the price. Because male torties are 1 in 3,000, they were looking to get a premium adoption fee to help  keep the volunteer rescue group afloat during the thin times. I said we had no problem with the fee. She had to keep him for about a week until he made weight before we could bring him home.

We got to visit him at the foster mom's house. He mostly ignored us, since he was with his siblings and they were just brought to a part of the house they weren't familiar with. I thought he would mostly ignore me when he first got to our place as well.

Boy, was I wrong.

I took him to the bathroom since Daisy was hissing. Within fifteen minutes, he'd explored the whole room and then curled up in my lap, purring away. He stayed there a long time. Throughout the day, he spent a lot of time in my lap. All last night, he slept on my chest. He is in my lap right now as I write this.

The fact that Daisy won't let him get close does not even perturb him in the slightest. The dogs do not bother him one bit. The only thing that scares him is loud noises, but he's already mellowing out over that. He does keep advancing on Daisy, clearly wanting a mama to cuddle him, but Daisy isn't ready for that yet.

However, they spent about a half an hour with Daisy on my lap and Dexter smashed in against her butt on my stomach. She kept hissing at him, occasionally batting his head, but he didn't care. She wasn't using claws.

I am amazed at how quickly he made himself at home here. It's like he knew right away that this was home. That he would be loved and treasured here.

Anyway, so that's the latest in Our Little Cabin in the Woods. The hole has diminished somewhat, though it will never go away. Dusty and Asuka are greatly missed, and I found myself leaking a few tears over them yesterday. But I plan on giving these two, Daisy and Dexter, the best life I can, just like I did for Dusty and Asuka.

And now back to writing, before I bust out crying again. :)

The Hole Engulfs the House

Three weeks to the day after losing Dusty, last Friday Asuka followed him to the light. Her breathing had been getting heavier, and early Friday morning she had a fit where she was fighting to breathe and panicking a bit. At first we thought she was still doing okay, because she demanded breakfast, but she had another fit a couple of hours later.

I told Logan how she hadn't gone upstairs on her own in several days, she was wobbly when she walked or when I set her down on her feet, and seemed to be going downhill faster. She could barely even purr anymore. We found out later that she weighed only about three pounds, so she'd lost weight she didn't have to lose. The vet would be closed until Monday, and I was scared she would have more, and worse, fits over the weekend. It seemed the line between living comfortably and suffering had been crossed. When Logan saw her having the second fit, we agreed that it was time to take her in.

Both of us were looking for reasons not to, of course. After making the call, I spent the rest of the day with Asuka sleeping in my lap. My mind shrieked at me the whole time, telling me it was too soon, that maybe she would get better, that maybe a miracle was lying it wait.

But I knew it wasn't. She had cancer, and it was in her lungs. Just like my grandmother, who came home to die after learning that.

The visit was much like what happened with Dusty, except that the office was very busy. We sat on the exit side in two isolated chairs away from everyone else. A lady showed us into a small room we'd never been in before, and put the table down. I kept Asuka in my lap as she gave her the sedative shot. I petted her and repeated how much we loved her.

The vet assistant returned with another lady. If I weren't so upset, I would have found the pair amusing, like the Two Stooges, dropping cotton balls and whatnot.

I lifted Asuka up on the table and cried as she was given the final shot. We were told she might convulse, but that she wouldn't feel anything. Nothing like that happened. She merely stopped breathing. And then she was gone.

They left us alone with her to say our goodbyes. I asked her to please give our love to Dusty when she saw him. We petted her, I kissed the top of her head on her little orange spot, and we hugged each other and cried. We wrapped her up in the blanket they'd given us, and quietly left.

When we receive her ashes, we'll set the box up next to Dusty's on the shelf above the window. In the summer, we'll decide where we want to sprinkle them, so that they will always be together.

I don't think I've ever been this seriously depressed. I am having an extreme crisis of faith. I prayed for them both, every single day of their entire lives. These two cats were the first ones I'd ever had as indoor cats, and I was always impressed how much longer indoor cats lived, even into their twenties. So why was it not to be with these two? We did everything we could to keep them healthy and happy. I feel like I failed them somehow, like I didn't try hard enough, I didn't do the right things.

My conscious mind tells me how ridiculous that is, that we did more for them than most people do for their pets, that we gave them peaceful deaths with dignity. And I am grateful that we were able to give Asuka a year that she wouldn't have had with us otherwise. But I can't seem to convince myself. I feel like I will collapse under the weight of guilt.

Daisy seems to be at a loss. I swear she roams around upstairs expecting the other two to pop out at her.  Every once in a while, I hear her meow up there, like she's calling for them. She follows me around a lot more now. She's lying on the table next to the computer as I type this.

I keep thinking I see them sitting on the stairs, or on the futon, or on the bed.

I have cried every single night before going to sleep.

We've decided not to adopt any other animals for now. But we are seriously considering fostering homeless animals that are rescued from shelters before they can be euthanized. One such group has adoption clinics at Petzoo every once in a while, and I asked about it. We had adopted Daisy from another such rescue group almost two years ago. That way I can help as many animals as possible without becoming the local Crazy Cat Lady.

In the meantime, I'll grieve and grapple with the guilt and the pain. I have many friends doing their best to comfort me, and I am extremely grateful to them for their kind words and love.

Asuka had found us in June of 2003, perching herself on the porch railing of my in-law's house and waiting patiently for us to come out and welcome her. Dusty found us a few months later the same year, announcing his arrival on the deck during feeding time with a mighty thump. They gave us nine years of love, friendship, and much purring. I suppose that they both left us in the same year is fitting, but it should have been years from now.

Please hug your loved ones tonight, and tell them how much you love them.

"You know, someone has said that we should live each day as if it were the last day of our lives."

"Augh! This is the last day! This is it! I only have twenty-four hours left! Help me, help me! This is the last day! Auuuuuuuugh!"

" ... Clearly, some philosophies aren't for all people."

Got that right, Sally. Maybe I need a new philosophy too.

Bad Blogger! No Doughnut!

Um, so I guess it has been approximately three months since my last blog post? Boy, am I rotten at this whole writing thing.

Well, things have been rather screwy, what with changes in my husband's job, practicing new routines, and trying to complete a costume in time for a Halloween karaoke party this weekend. Which isn't done yet.

The biggest thing that has happened concerns my cats. My Tripawed Wonder seems to be doing okay, except that her lump has returned with reinforcements. They don't seem to be bothering her at this time, but I continue giving her the ES Clear drops since she appears so healthy otherwise. ES Clear has been improved and renamed to Life Gold now. Doesn't need to be refrigerated, which is nice, since Asuka hates cold stuff.

I can't take her to the vet now because a week ago, Dusty ended up staying at the vet for four days due to renal failure. Unfortunately, what caused it can't really be determined right now. The biggest signal was that he stopped eating, stopped using the litter box, and drank water like crazy. Then his coat got dull and saggy, his eyes sunken and weepy, and he got extremely lethargic, though restless.

He started eating shortly after getting fluids. When I went to visit him, he had his face in his food bowl. Everyone that worked there loved him, said he was so friendly.

Now back at home, he's on canned K/D. The other two are also on a canned food diet now. I've read all the information on how it can be better for cats' health, and I went with my vet's recommendation on food that wouldn't be bad for him if Dusty got hold of some of it.

Dusty is also on a medication, the name of which escapes me at the moment. He gets it every three and a half days, and there's even a choice of flavors. He's not fond of it being forced on him, but he doesn't seem to mind the taste of it either.

He's thriving, though he's not quite back to his normal self. He's more mellow now, as though tired easily. But something interesting happened in the house while he was gone:

Daisy started coming upstairs.

In the year and a half since we adopted her, she has stayed downstairs while Dusty and Asuka ruled the upstairs. I guess since Asuka didn't pitch a fit when she came up to investigate, and Dusty wasn't there to protest, she has decided it's safe enough now. Daisy loves sleeping under the covers in our bed. And playing with the ear plugs I wear when hubby snores. I'll have to clean things up now since she plays with everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING.

That's all I can think of to post at the moment. I'll try to be more regular with this whole writing thing. Especially since next month is Nanowrimo. :)

Tripawed Adventures: Six months later ...

I haven't posted on my little tripawed kitty's recovery and adjustment because she'd been doing so well, there was nothing really to say. She's almost completely the same as she used to be, with the exception of the fact that she can no longer move stealthily like cats do. She sounds more like an elephant wearing snowshoes. I can usually hear her from anywhere in the house.

For a while, I even stopped giving her the ES Clear. This was because she doesn't eat much canned food, and I can't put it on the dry, since she eats so randomly. Also, the other two fat cats mob me whenever they hear the refrigerator open because they know it means good stuff is coming out. It's hard to separate Asuka enough so that she will actually eat the food with the drops on it. And she does NOT tolerate having the drops put in her mouth with the dropper.

Everything was going well. She was healthy and happy.

Until I discovered a new lump where her shoulder used to be.

As with the last time, this tumor didn't seem to bother her any. Nor did her health seem off in any way. But knowing what we know now, I decided to take her to the vet to see what he thought.

He told me honestly that if it were his cat, he'd do the surgery to remove the tumor. She's healthy, and removing the tumor could help her stay that way. Since he had a week off, he told me to take the time to think about it.

The tumor had popped up pretty quickly. I check her almost every day. I thought to myself, if there's a possibility that this is her last year with us, I want to do whatever I can to make her happy. I told my husband that I wish animals could tell us what they want.

That night, hubby had a dream that Asuka was talking. All he could remember was that she said she wanted to have fun.

So I dug out her old collar, put it on her, and let her go outside.

She's always trying to get outside once the weather warms up. She yowls at the door, begging for the chance. So I figured I'd let her do that on the days that I don't go anywhere, so I could be there to let her back in the moment she wants to. (The collar is to let the neighbors know that she has a home.)

I also started her back on the ES Clear. If there's a possibility this could improve her situation to the point that the tumors don't come back, I'm willing to put up with the hassle. At least she seems interested in the canned food now, though I can't usually get her to eat it more than once a day.

So today she went back to the vet to have the lump removed.

She's got a row of staples running along her neck and shoulder area. The vet said he got as much of it as he could, and also removed a couple of much smaller tumors in her neck. He took very little muscle tissue in the process. He seemed very satisfied about the results.

The funniest part is that last time we brought her home, I thought she'd want to be downstairs by the fire, since it was December. She proved me wrong by running upstairs and hiding. So I thought this time I'd take her upstairs so she could hide. Ten minutes later, she came down the stairs (very wobbly and slowly) to sit by the heater.

She's a very contrary kitty. I don't even try to predict anything with her anymore. :)

Tonight I brought home a can of tuna to see if she'd be interested in it. After sitting by the heat for a while earlier in the evening, she threw up a couple of times and seemed way out of it still, so I took her back upstairs and blocked the stairs with the ironing board. I offered her the tuna water with some flakes of tuna floating in it.

Once again, tuna water saves my sanity. She drank most of it and nibbled some tuna as well.

And just a few minutes ago, as I sat here at the computer, she suddenly hopped into my lap, scaring the beejeezus out of me. I didn't even hear her coming this time!

For all that she's acting drunk as a skunk, she still seems very healthy. She's behaving just like herself, albeit a more wobbly version. I have the feeling she's going to be sleeping on top of me tonight.

And that makes me a very happy girl.

Tripawed Adventures: Being Held

Of course, for the first part of her healing process after the surgery, Asuka did not like being held much. And truth be told, it was easier to pick her up and hold her when she had the huge, stiff wrap around her because it gave me something to stabilize her body with.

So the first few times picking her up after the wrap came off were challenging. I was used to hooking my fingers around both her front legs and scooping her up, but I quickly realized that wasn't going to work anymore. And she yowled at first because everything was raw and sore. (I know, I state the obvious, but this is part of the learning process, living with a newly tripawed kitty.)

Now her scars are healed up and the crusty stuff has fallen off. Her fur is nearly grown back in as well, making the surgery scar even less obvious. And she no longer yowls when I pick her up. She's beginning to like being held once more. One of her favorite things to do before was to stretch herself out while hanging over my shoulder. She's beginning to figure out how to leverage herself so that she can do a variation of that stretch. Asuka is very trusting and literally drapes her body over my shoulder when she feels stable enough.

She also no longer minds the surgery site being petted. This is nice because I can pet her whole body now, rather than skimming by the sore areas.

It's difficult to tell if the ES Clear is helping her all that much. Asuka behaves as normally now as she did before (with adjustments). She even caught a shrew a few weeks ago! And she played with it by tossing it in the air, just like before. She's not as skinny because I've been giving her an extra feeding of canned food with the ES Clear drops on it. I discovered she does not care for the canned food that looks like small cubes of meat in stew. She just licks all the stew off and leaves the cubes. So I have to mash it all up before she'll consider eating it. Never knew she was that picky!

She has adapted to the missing front leg much better than I hoped, and she seems to be completely healed. I pray that we caught it in time, and that she lives a long, happy, healthy tripawed life. So mote it be. :)

Tripawed Adventures: Week Three

So I believe it has been three weeks now since we brought Asuka home from having her front leg amputated. She's getting around much easier now: her walking is smoother, I just saw her come downstairs almost as fast as she goes up, and she's figuring things out.

There are still a few moments that wrench and warm my heart at the same time. She's eating less of the canned food and more of her usual dry food now, which means her little puking moments are back again. (Oy.) I've been giving her a couple of drops of the ES Clear every day on some canned food. For a while I was giving it to her twice a day, but she's less interested in the canned food now, so I've only been able to get her to eat it once a day. She seems lively and bright eyed, as I will explain more of soon.

I've watched her using the litter box. I assumed she'd probably never be able to cover up her stuff since she has to hold herself up with her only front paw, but she proved me wrong. She's figured out how to brace her back feet while leaning on the side of the box to scratch litter over her mess. She's still trying to use the missing leg though, which I admit is hard to watch.

Today, all my cats are impressing the heck out of me. Our shrew population in the house seems to be thriving, as my cats have caught three of them this morning alone! Daisy has caught two (one of them as I've been writing this post), and I believe Dusty caught the other one. I only think it was Dusty because he was down here hunting for one. But when I went upstairs, not only was he playing with it, but so was Asuka! Again, she braced herself with her back feet wide so she could reach out and bat the poor thing with her front paw. She picked it up in her mouth and tossed it into the air. I'm so proud of my kitties (though it just kills me when the poor little things aren't dead yet.)

All three cats are in hunting mode now. They are guarding certain places and sticking their paws in cracks and crevices. I have the most fantastic cats on the planet. :)

Tripawed Adventures: More Good Signs

Bringing her out of hiding seems to have done Asuka a lot of good. Last night, I heard her eating from the dry cat food that is out for them all the time. Today, she actually jumped up onto the futon to sit in my lap, a movement so natural, it was like she had all four legs again. The motivation seemed to be the can of cat food and the spoon I had in my hands. ;)

And just moments ago she used the litter box, came out to the living room, and sat down to clean herself. I can see she's having issues figuring that out; she keeps trying to go the way her missing leg would have allowed her to go. Right now she's making a mess trying to clean litter off her feet. But I'm so proud that she's trying, that she's not just sitting depressed in a corner of the house.

I'm sure my Facebook friends are getting bored with my constant Tripawed Kitty posts, since I make several every day, but what can I say? I'm a proud kitty mama!

Tripawed Adventures: A Week After

It has been a week since we brought Asuka home from the vet missing one of her front legs. Some things have improved a lot, some we're still working on.

For one thing, she still doesn't want to move around hardly at all. When she does, it's more like bunny hops. Which is a bit of an improvement over the heavy galumphing she did the first few days.

Also, she still prefers hiding. When I bring her out, though, she seems happier. She spent almost two days hiding behind the bed, where I had to do the earthworm wiggle to feed her. I finally decided last night that I'm going to bring her downstairs for every feeding. It's not an easy task when she hides back there (think long, skinny tunnel where I can't lift my head or my rear as I go along), but I think the results have definitely been worth it.

When I bring her down, she appreciates the warmth from the stove. Yesterday she even spent some time laying in front of it, toasting her tummy like she used to.

Her appetite seems pretty good, though I'm not sure how much water she's getting. When I see her, she's usually hiding. I don't know if she uses the litter box or drinks water when I'm not around to see it.

My ES Clear has been sent, so we'll be trying that as soon as it arrives, see if it helps her feel better.

Today when I brought her down in the afternoon, she was so comfy curled on the futon with a blanket partially covering her that I decided to leave her downstairs while I went to teach class. She was still there when I returned home. And she is still there now. Dusty spent some time laying next to her, and I even got some video of him licking her head. It's so hard to catch them doing that because Asuka usually doesn't tolerate it.

I called to move her appointment up a few days. I could have made the appointment for earlier before, since the practice is ten to fourteen days after surgery for checkup and staple removal. But I wasn't sure what my schedule was going to be, and I wanted to see how Asuka was feeling. I think perhaps the bandages are starting to hinder her, and maybe that's why she doesn't want to move too much. By the time the appointment rolls around, she will have been healing for twelve days after surgery, so I think she will improve more after everything is removed.

And then I'll have to figure out how to wean her from spoon feeding and tuna. She's definitely enjoying the combination of good food fed to her by her human servant. XD

Tripawed Adventures: It's Getting Better All the Time

So I expected that we'd have issues with Asuka's food and water intake. Also, I learned she really hates to be force fed anything, especially her meds.

It wasn't until shortly after midnight, when we'd finished kissing the old year goodbye and ringing in the new year with sparkling cider and poppers, that I finally got her to eat something. I'd been reading different blogs and forums about what to do to get a cat to eat or drink, so I thought I'd try a few tricks.

I put a little clump of canned food (the A/D stuff the vet gave us) on her only front paw. After a few seconds, she licked it off. I did it again, with the same result. Finally, I offered her some canned food on a spoon and she started eating it off the spoon. Only about a teaspoonful by the time she turned her head away, but I was dancing around the living room because she ate!

She still refused water, no matter what I put it in: cat bowl, small plate, the syringe (she really hated that.) I tried dripping some on her mouth, on her paw. She simply didn't want it at all.

I read on some forum that tuna water was something to offer a cat refusing to drink, and that tuna was "kitty crack." Indeed, today this proved true. She gobbled tuna like a starving cat, and even drank the tuna water I offered.

The last hurdle remaining: the litter box.

After a couple of tuna water consumptions today, I decided to place Asuka near the litter box. At this point in time, she's still not walking much. Well, at all, really. She's been behind the bed for one entire day, and on the bed all last night and most of today. I figured with almost two days of meals in her, perhaps all she needed was a little help getting there.

Sure enough, as soon as I put her next to the litter box, she hauled herself into it and piddled. Then hauled herself out and hobbled to one of her hiding places. Never thought I'd be so happy to see a cat pee. >.<

So I thought maybe she'd want to hide for the rest of the night. So I went downstairs with my husband. He was on the computer while I was sitting in my "gamer chair" playing Saints Row.

And we heard a thump. There sat Asuka on the second highest step.

I held my breath as she tried the next step. She wanted to go straight down and skip a step, but I came over and patted the correct next step, which would be easier to reach. She landed heavily on it, then decided to take a rest. I petted her and debated on whether I should let her come the rest of the way down herself. She's still VERY wobbly.

So I went back to my chair and played my game until she moved again. When she skipped a step again, I almost leaped to my feet, expecting to grab her as she came tumbling down, but she managed to right herself. She came down a couple more and was almost all the way down, when the sound of Daisy in the bathroom scared her. She scrambled back up a step.

I came over, picked her up, and put her in hubby's lap. There she curled up, and they both fell asleep for a while.

Now she's sleeping on the futon next to me as I type this. :)

She's amazed me with her leaps forward in improvement. I'm going to give her another medication tonight, but with how lively she's becoming, I'm thinking she might not need anymore after this. He meds were only to last four days anyway, which is tomorrow.

I have a little fighter of a kitty. Warms my heart to see that she's not giving up. This was the best start to the new year I could have asked for.

Tripawed Adventures: The First 24 Hours

Last night we picked Asuka up from the vet after the amputation of her left front leg. When the vet called us in, he held her in his arms. She was still dopey from the anesthesia. He set her on the table as he spoke, stroking her. I noticed she was disinclined to standing then, and huddled close to the countertop. She was wrapped all around with bandages and that stuff they wrap on your arms after giving blood. Hers is a bright, cheerful yellow. She didn't even seem to notice we were there until I got down and looked her in the face.

I noticed a small hint of recognition in her gaze. Her ears pricked slightly and she occasionally meowed through the conversation. The vet gave us some cans of food and a tube in case we needed to invite some food into her mouth if she wasn't eating. We also got four days worth of pain medication in little separate syringes. I can tell you right now she doesn't like the taste of the meds. :)

I ordered the ES Clear that evening. We'll get it in the next week or so, by the time she's off the drugs.

Asuka mewed all the way home, though only half as loud as she usually does when she's taking a car ride. (Boy, can she yell!) I held her in my arms rather than put her in her carrier. It was difficult to figure out the best way to hold her, since her missing leg made it easy to lay on that side, but it probably also hurt like hell.

When we got home, I was going to keep her downstairs on the futon, so I got a towel in case she had an accident. But she started moving around as soon as I laid her down, and I thought she might fall off the futon, so I moved her to the floor. I thought, having just come home and still being dopey from drugs, she'd probably sleep a while longer.

Leave it to Asuka to give me a heart attack right off the bat!

As soon as I moved away, she got up, hobbled to the bathroom, and took an immediate dump in the litter box there. technically, that's Daisy's litter box (she's our third kitty, just adopted her this year). Daisy doesn't get along with the others, particularly Asuka, so she has her food and litter in the bathroom while Asuka and Dusty have theirs upstairs in the loft.

Now let me explain a little about our cabin.

It is a little log cabin, about the square foot size of a small, two bedroom apartment. The bathroom doesn't really even have a door; it's one of those accordian, sliding things that doesn't latch. We also have a curtain hanging up for better privacy. When we want to isolate someone, the best we can do is put one of hubby's kettle bells in front of the part that hinges in the middle and hope the determined kitty doesn't still manage to shove through.

The "two bedrooms" are actually a loft. A set of special stairs had to be made in order to go up through the square hole in the floor which divides the loft into two halves. Really, though, it's a loft with a square hole in the floor. Because the ceiling is peaked in the middle, you have to bend over when you get to the top of the stairs to avoid hitting your head on the slanted ceiling. We had to get rid of the undercarriage of our bed because we couldn't get it all up there. We cut the legs off the headboard, and the mattress is on the floor.

Aaaaaand now about those stairs.

They're actually a series of alternating platforms made so the stairs could climb steeply without banging your knee on the edges. There's no back to the stairs, so the cats often sit on the stair backwards to see what's going on in the kitchen. Dusty, the fat one, goes down them one at a time: he turns sideways to face the next platform, hops down, turns the other way to face the next platform, hops down, etc. until he reaches the floor. Another way to describe the stairs is this: a big, slanted ladder that rests at the top of the hole in the floor of the loft.

Asuka usually races up and down those stairs. I figured I'd give her a few days of healing before letting her go up. i planned on keeping her in the bathroom while I was gone teaching the next day.

After Asuka used the litter, she took off like a shot and RAN up those stairs!

I thought I was going to pass out. For a few seconds, it was like nothing was wrong.

Once Asuka got up there, she found one of her many favorite hiding spots and stayed there. I brought her some of the canned food, which she ignored, but I expected that. I've been feeding her canned food lately because the last few weeks she seemed a little thinner than usual, probably because of the cancer. My husband and I left her up there because, obviously, that was where she wanted to be.

When we took a potty break from our movie, I discovered she had moved to bed. Her back legs were tucked under her like she crouched, but she kind of just let her face smash into the blanket. I checked to make sure she was okay, which she was. I imagine there's nothing that feels comfortable to her just now. Dusty lay nearby. Once he even came over and licked her head, a gesture Asuka usually does not appreciate too often. She seemed to like it now.

By the time we went to bed, she was behind the headboard in the little tunnel made by the slanting ceiling meeting the floor and the headboard itself. I petted her good night (I had to do the earthworm slither to reach her, then wriggle myself back out) and went to bed.

I thought she'd stay there all night, though she usually sleeps by my head or on my chest. Sure enough, about three hours later, she shoved herself through the space between the headboard and the wall and stretched out alongside my arm. I petted her and fell asleep to the sound of her purring.

This morning I offered her more food, even tried dabbing the tip of her nose with it, which she licked off, but she wasn't interested. I gave her one of the little syringes of meds. She does NOT like the taste of it. I imagine it's going to get harder to give it to her as we go.

Hubby said we should leave Asuka there as we were both leaving for a couple of hours. I agreed that we should let her be where she wanted to. After all, food and water and litter box were all up there for her to use, but I was worried she would try to come downstairs before she was ready to navigate them. So hubby rigged up the ironing board at the top. We figured with her wraps, she probably wouldn't try to slip through the rungs of the iron gate that surrounds the edges of the square hole, and the ironing board was short enough that we could step over it if needed.

I've been home for several hours now, and she's back in one of her cubbyholes. I've moved the ironing board because I want her to come downstairs whenever she's ready, as long as I can watch her do it until I'm positive she doesn't need help. She'll get another round of meds this evening. I'm going to try to offer more food in a bit. if she doesn't eat, I may try putting a little in her mouth with the feeding syringe the vet gave us just in case. And little water, too.

Anyway, that's how the first day has gone. I can't help but think that her leg is still there, somewhere under all those wraps, though I know it's not. In two weeks, we'll take her in to get the bandages removed and the staples out. I know then it will be made real even to my goofy brain.

As the healing progresses, I'll post more about her in this blog. But I'll also be starting up Write 1 Sub 1 Reloaded 2012 tomorrow as well. :)

Happy New Year to all, and blessings of health, wealth, and happiness to yours, mine, and ours! :)

Tripawed Adventures: Asuka's Life Before Amputation

So I'm starting a little segment in my blog today, called "Tripawed Adventures." This began as a blog for moving to Alaska, and then morphed into a blog about my budding writing career this year. Now I want to add another part to it, as this is something that might help others going through similar problems.

I've had animals all my life. Mainly cats and dogs, but also birds, rats, and hamsters. While I love all animals, I admit cats are pretty close to my heart. I managed to turn my husband into a cat person as well. :)

I've probably mentioned this story on this blog before, but I'll repeat it here for background in case you're just joining me. Asuka is a small cat, a beautiful mixture of tabby and torti with white tummy, dainty white paws, and white chest. He eyes are the most gorgeous blue green on some days, golden green on others. She's not much of a player, and she doesn't always get along well with other animals, but I know she loves Dusty, our second cat, thought she spends most of the time smacking him away.

Asuka and Dusty both adopted us. One day my mother-in-law came up and asked me if I knew the cat sitting on the back porch railing. I looked out the window and saw this cute little kitty sitting there, facing away from me and staring off into the distance. I opened the door, expecting her to bolt. Her head snapped around and her limbs locked as though she were going to, but then she looked me in the eye and mewed.

I picked her up and carried her into the house. She sat on my lap for an hour. When we took her to the vet to be fixed, she was so small, the vet said she was probably about four months old. Now, she's around eight or nine years.

Asuka was a stand-offish kitty (at least with me) for the first few years. She'd sit in everyone else's lap but mine. but she loved being petted. When we moved out of the in-laws house and got our own apartment, she got friendlier. By the time we moved to Alaska, she took every opportunity to sit in my lap, and even started sleeping on me at night.

She's had a couple of issues. I discovered a lump in her neck at one point, I think the same year she adopted us. But it never grew, never bothered her, so we didn't worry about it.

Asuka also went through a period where she peed on the bed. Once she even peed on my husband while he was in bed. We have to keep a space blanket or tarp on the bed every day, because Dusty decided he wanted to do the same thing she was doing. It's been a while since they've done it, but you never know.

We refer to Asuka as the bulimic kitty as well. She would throw up several times a week, usually after eating. We feed them Purina One Urinary Tract Health dry cat food because of Dusty's mucus plug problem. But even when we changed foods for a while, she still threw up on a regular basis.

But she wasn't skinny, or malnourished, or listless. She's always been a healthy little girl who occasionally ran around the loft with Dusty hot on her tail.

A couple of months ago, the lump in her neck suddenly blew up. It got so big, you could see it under her fur without feeling for it. It seemed to spread out over her shoulder. So we decided it was time for the vet.

We don't take our animals to the vet unless there is a problem. I know there is much debate about this. I come from a family where our animals had jobs (like guard dog, mouse catcher) and we enjoyed their company.

My husband and I are a little different now. We've got a decent income, and no kids. I look at my pets as my four legged children. So when this lump got huge, I took her in.

After consulting with the vet, we decided instead of doing a biopsy, we would have him remove the whole lump if possible and send it in for testing. The theory was that even if it was benign, it had grown pretty quickly and hadn't stopped, so it might cause further problems later.

Asuka responded well to the surgery and came home with a trail of staples along her neck and shoulder. One thing I want to point out is that through this whole process, she never once behaved differently or like something was wrong with her. Like the vet said, "Other than this lump, she's the picture of health."

The day after Christmas, we got the news: Chondrosarcoma, cancer of the cartilage and bone. The vet told me straight up that Asuka's best chance for survival was to remove the affected leg. Because he'd removed the tumor, he was able to see how it progressed and how it seemed limited to the leg and shoulder, not the chest. He thought her chances were good with amputation, as long as we acted quickly. I went ahead and scheduled a new appointment in two days to do so.

I didn't want to just go with the Doc's opinion, of course. Having spent so many years in college, I needed to research it all myself. I read everything I could find on the subject of cats and cancer on the internet, particularly chondrosarcoma. The idea of removing Asuka's leg when she otherwise seemed so healthy felt outrageous to my mind. But as I read through the articles and research journals, I saw that this type of cancer often went without any other symptoms except some lameness (which she didn't have) and lumps (which she did.) When I asked the vet how long he thought she'd have if we didn't do anything, he sighed and said, "A few months."

The more I read, the more I understood the situation. Yes, it seemed drastic now, but if we waited until she started showing things more outwardly, it would probably be too late to stop the cancer from spreading. And while it wasn't a 100 percent guarantee that the cancer wouldn't come back, at least her chances of living a long and healthy life would be better.

I also read about a product called ES Clear, a supportive supplement for cats with cancer, recommended to me by a good friend who swears by a dog supplement of the company's. I showed it to the vet, who had not heard of it, warned me about how some products come out, get a bunch of money, and then disappear because they weren't really any good. But he also said that some are worth their salt, like one called Rescue Remedy (I think). He looked at the ingredients and said he's prescribed some types of herbs to animals for certain problems, so while he couldn't really say anything about this one, it could be worth a try.

I'll write more on ES Clear when we get it and start using it.

Anyway, that's the general background of our history with Asuka, leading up to her diagnosis of Chondrosarcoma and our foray into the world of the Tripawed. I'll continue in the next post about her first 24 hours after surgery.

New kitty!

My husband and I have not adopted cats since we've been married; they've adopted us.

Before we married, I adopted four cats, three of which remain at my parents' home in California. They lived with us at my husband's parents' home until we moved out and got an apartment much too small for so many outdoor cats, so back to my parents' home they went. We lived closer to them, so I got to visit them whenever I wanted until we moved to Alaska.

While living with hubby's parents' we met many strays, bums who came to eat and sleep for a while before moving on. One wild cat hung around so long, he got used to humans and discovered he loved being petted. He'd crash his head into your hand so hard, like he never knew how wonderful it was to be petted before. We called him Snaggletooth because of the one tooth sticking out his mouth.

The two who adopted us permanently are with us here in Alaska. Asuka, the little girl, just appeared on the back porch one day. When I opened the door, she didn't run or hiss or anything. She just mewed at me, so I brought her in.

Dusty was crapping on the deck where I'd feed the cats, and we had no idea who was doing it. Until one day, when he jumped onto the deck with a thump while I was feeding. It was like he said, "Here I am! Feed me, love me!"

These two get along all right, except Asuka is a bit temperamental. She doesn't really want to play with Dusty, or cuddle with him, though occasionally she'll tolerate is attentions. So we discussed getting a third cat for Dusty.

We never really had to go out and adopt a cat because they seemed to be finding us just fine.

But here in Alaska, things are different. We've only seen two cats since we moved to our house almost two years ago. Both were clearly owned by someone else in the neighborhood. If we were serious about adopting another cat, we would have to go out and find one.

This past Sunday we went to PetZoo to pick up some dog food. That's all we went in there for, really. But we discovered they were having a big sale (they even had someone walking around in a dog suit handing out sample bags of Yummie Chummies). In the back, there were cages where Clear Creek Cat Rescue (I think that's their name) had some of their adoptable cats. Hubby said I can't go over there, and I said, "Over where?" because I hadn't noticed yet. So of course he led me over there himself. (I turned my hubby into a bigger cat freak than I am!)

We talked to the nice lady of CCCR about our home situation, the other animals we have, and what we were looking for. She introduced us to Daisy, this pretty little tortishell, mostly brown with orange flecks, who snuggled in our arms without any problems. The lady told us about how she loved to play and had lots of energy. She was estimated to be 11 months old, not a kitten, but not a full adult either. We decided to go on with our shopping and discuss it.

We'd just gone on to Fred Myer and all we could talk about was this sweet little kitty. When we were checking out, we decided to take her home, so hubby got $60 from the ATM and immediately walked over to PetZoo while I took the groceries to the car and drove back. He was worried she would be adopted before we got back.

Of course there have been problems since we brought her home. Asuka hates her, and Dusty seems bewildered. Daisy didn't eat, drink, or potty the whole first 24 hours. The cats get into tiffs if they get too close to each other.

Now, on day four, they still get into small tiffs, but I'm usually standing over them when they are near each other. But Daisy is eating, drinking, using the litter box, and has her favorite cubby hole on top of the washer/dryer behind the hanging clothes. I brought some toys home, and she plays with them. She's investigating the house, she's talking to us all the time, she loves attention. The dogs don't even make her twitch.

Right now it seems impossible that the three cats will ever get friendly with each other. But at least we can now live (relatively) quietly and happily together. And maybe some day Daisy and Dusty will be playmates. I pray for this every day.

Here is the link to Clear Creek Cat Rescue. Daisy's profile was still on there at the time of this blog posting. http://www.petfinder.com/shelters/AK43.html

Every time a cat gets adopted from them, they can rescue another cat from being put down at the shelter. For those readers living in Alaska, please consider these kitties for adoption.

Send in the storms

I was just looking at the weather in Wasilla, noticing that it's raining most of the week with temps in the high 60s and low 70s.

Then I remembered how the Northern California weather people are always talking about storms coming down from Alaska.

So I had this cute little scenario run through my head:

Me picking up the phone and dialing my mother's number.

"Hello, Mom? Yeah, it's your daughter. I'm sending you a gift wrapped storm straight from Alaska for your garden!"

All dressed up and Alaska to go...

So I had mentioned earlier that I picked up a pair of harnesses for the cats so that, in the event that we drive up to Alaska, they will be able to go outside on leashes at rest stops. Asuka hated the harness, but loves going outside. She sits at the door and meows to go out now instead of gazing longingly out the windows.



That's Asuka above, aka Pretty Girl, sporting her stylish nap time look to complement the hot pink harness.









And here she is fully awake and snubbing the camera in true feline fashion.





This is Dusty, aka Tubby Kitty. I was so relieved that the blue harness fit him even with that huge belly of his. He didn't even notice the harness, but he's more freaked about being outside than Asuka is. He'll wander by the door for a second, then dash back inside the moment the door opens. Logan says Dusty knows a good thing.





Don't blame me for how fat Dusty is. He came to us that way. He arrived at the dinner table with the other cats, announcing himself with a huge thud as he landed on the porch. With all that fur, I couldn't tell if he was a boy or a girl, so we thought he might be pregnant. We took him to vet to get fixed and shots and the vet called a few hours later.


"Uh, yeah, he's a boy and he's already been fixed."


I blushed red as a stop light. All those years working in a kennel and I still have trouble with the really fluffy neutered boys. And now I'm sharing it with the world.


I need to get my head readjusted.


Anyway, Asuka was much quieter. My mother-in-law Beth said, "There's this cat on the back porch railing I've never seen before."


I peeked out the back door window. There she was stretched out on the railing as if she'd lived there all her life. I expected her to bolt when I opened the door. She started, but then she looked right at me with those greeny-blue eyes and mewed at me. I picked her up, took her inside, and she spent the next few hours curled on my lap.


Now you see why we will not give these guys up for anything. They chose us, so I'll brave post-9/11 airline flights to make things easier on them.

How to move the cats

My cats are very important to me. There's no way I'm giving them up when they chose us to begin with. So they must come to Alaska, too.

They are indoor kitties, so living in a wild, cold place like Alaska isn't going to be a problem, especially for Dusty and his big belly and thick coat of long fur. And he'll keep skinny Asuka warm by pouncing on her every five minutes.

But I've never traveled such a long distance with cats before. An hour at the most. And that was difficult enough as it was.

So I've been pondering the different ways we could be moving. Logan said the traditional way for the company is to ship our stuff, ship our car, and we fly up.

Ugh. I hate flying. No way.

So then we considered driving up through Canada, which could take like four or five days, or driving up to Washington and taking the ferry up.

Either way, that's a lot of time spent in the car. A vast potential for a lot of problems as well. What if they don't eat, drink, or go potty that entire time? They could make themselves really sick. Starting as a new manager and speaking completely selfishly, I don't want to have sick kitties on my list of things to freak out about.

After some Internet research, I decided to buy a couple of harnesses and leashes and teach them to walk around outside safely. I found a dark blue one for Dusty and a hot pink one for Asuka, with matching leashes.

I put the harnesses on them as soon as I got home. Having worn collars for a year now, getting them on wasn't the problem.

Dusty didn't even notice his, of course. He is so laid back he spends most of the day on his back with his paws in the air. That big belly of his keeps him well balanced. He did roll around for a few minutes, but that was it.

Asuka acted like a fly was buzzing in her ears. She lashed her tail, sprang in the air as if zapped with a cattle prod, and twitched her ears back and forth a lot. This went on for a few hours. She kept licking and scratching at it, too.

But she's used to it now. And I took them both outside for their first airing yesterday. Asuka acted like I had attached a 30 pound weight to her back when I clipped on the leash; she flattened her back and walked with bent knees for a bit.

Dusty thought it all was just soooo cool. But of course, neither of them wanted to go in the same direction, so there I was with my arms way out at my sides like I was trying to fly to Alaska on my own hot air. We were only out on our back area, which is enclosed with a chest high wall, but with gaping spots underneath for any and all creatures to slip through.

After a bit, Dusty got tired of not being allowed to go any further, so he started trying to back out of the harness. I used his distraction to get him a little closer to Asuka so I could scoop both of them up and whisk them away back to familiar territory behind doors.

Today, I took them out on the walkway in front of the apartment one at a time. Dusty,being the cooler head, I took first. He hovered by the door a bit, but then walked right next to me partway down the walk. I swear he was a dog in his past life.

But after a couple of feet, he lost his nerve and turned back for home. So then I took Asuka out. She jumped into the nearest bush and would not come out. Oh, well. I had to step into the foliage next to our front door to extract her from the bush and take her back in.

Actually, I think they both handled it okay. They'll get better over time and this way I'll be able to take them for walks at rest stops on the trip up.

Though now I'm starting to think flying might be better after all, for them. More on that later.