39 Weeks, Loss of a Publisher, aaaaaand ...

... whatever else may pop into my mind as I write this.

This is the last day of April. Tomorrow we enter the month that seemed so far away when I first found out I was pregnant. Tomorrow I will be 39 weeks along, one week away from Wyatt's estimated due date. I will be nine days from my 39th birthday, which is also Mother's Day this year.

This is the most significant May of my entire life. When I think about it, I'm sure my face must take on an expression akin to being stoned out of my gourd.

This has been a surprisingly smooth pregnancy. I maintained my medical status of "boring" throughout, nothing strange, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to cause excessive worry. (I say excessive because mothers will always worry about everything all the time no matter what.)

There was the two weeks of nausea, food aversions, acute smells, and fatigue around week 8. Then the constant pressure on my bladder and the pubic symphysis issues started, the only things to occur consistently. (I did not get the second trimester respite from the bladder issues that many get.) A few weeks ago, I got the pregnant itchies, occasional rashes that would sprout, last an hour, then go away.

I had a two-day bout of edema in my feet and ankles, which went away, but has returned with a vengeance the last couple of days, thanks to Wyatt's low head-down position in my pelvis. I have been referring to them as "Hobbit feet," and it is definitely the oddest thing I have witnessed in my body. However, I have not needed to resort to getting larger shoes or schlepping around in flip-flops, which I hate. My feet have always been long and skinny (think Disney's Ichabod Crane cartoon), so I've always had room in my shoes for width. I just keep my sneakers double tied with enough room to slip my feet into them.

I have exercised all nine months. Not anywhere near what I was doing as a fitness instructor beforehand, of course. Maybe three or four days a week at the most, sometimes going several days without because of physical issues or time issues. My routines have modified and shrunk. When I go walking with hubby and the dogs, our jaunts are shorter and I walk much slower now. I feel like I'm swinging my legs around Wyatt's head with every step.

I have forgotten what it is like not to feel like I need a bathroom all the time.

I expected to get wider as I gained weight. However, my belly has been growing steadily forward and not out to the sides. Even one of the midwives exclaimed how I was all belly and nothing else when I laid down for positioning.

Wyatt has been in ROA position for at least a couple of months. The midwives tell me that having his spine on the left would be better, so I have spent part of every day on my hands and knees, sometimes more like Child's Pose, to encourage him to spin. No luck yet, but he might chose to swing at the very last second.

He is still pretty active, but I thinking it's harder for him to move now, so he gets tired easier. I love watching my husband's face as he feels Wyatt's movement.

I have not gotten any of the insane pregnancy cravings that everyone talks about. Any cravings I have had are normal cravings that I've had ever since going Paleo, for the stuff that I once loved to eat but hated the way they made me feel afterward: fast food, doughnuts, candy bars, etc. I have occasionally had a box of cereal, Annie's White Cheddar Bunnies (which will accompany me to the birthing), potato chips, ice cream.

I did allow myself whatever I wanted at my baby shower. No way was I missing out on that cake.

But everything that I indulged in was the best that I could find, with the healthiest ingredients available. Everything was organic when possible, natural with simple known ingredients when not. For example, I made my own hot chocolate from organic whole milk, organic maple syrup, organic vanilla, and 100% cacao powder. I have never had a moment of crazy, uncontrollable desire or the need for strange foods that I would never have otherwise eaten.

I mention this because food is such a huge issue for many people. I get the impression that some people felt bad about themselves when they would see how healthy I was eating all the time. But I really do think that by feeding myself and my baby the way I did, my body did not want for anything. I have gained thirty pounds almost exactly. It looks like it's all in my belly (and my ankles these days.) I feel good most of the time and usually have a good amount of energy every day.

I hope maybe telling about my experiences will help other moms in their choices.

I have not had the intense nesting or cleaning urge yet, but I do think I have procrastinated enough in getting the house set up. This week will be spent putting together the Pack n' Play, washing all the new cloth diapers and soakers and baby clothes, maybe canning up some stews for dinners, and cleaning the house for when the grandparents come to visit.

Okay, I think I have exhausted the whole baby topic.

And now for something completely different ...

I recently found out that one of my publishers has decided to go out on a high note and close up shop. They have a couple of my stories, one stand alone and one in an anthology. I had just finished writing and editing a story for one of their anthologies for this year, but I didn't get to send it in.

It makes me sad when publishers go out of business. I feel like I'm being pushed toward self-publishing more and more nowadays. It makes me wonder what will happen in the publishing industry in the next five years.

This year I've decided to push a little harder and submit my stories to pro and semi-pro paying markets. I'm also sending queries to magazines, like travel and special interest magazines rather than fiction mags. It will be interesting to juggle these new ventures while I figure out being a first time mom at the same time.

Well, I thought there might be other things to blog about, but I think this particular entry has gotten long enough. And I'm getting hungry, thanks to all that blather about food.

And I need to make my tenth trip to the bathroom today.