Thursday, April 29, 2010

One hurdle down, a hundred to go ...

So I finally did the video for my Group Power certification. I haven't even seen it yet and I don't want to. I'll make a copy for my mom, but if I watch it I'll just criticize myself to death and there's no point. So once I get that in my hot little hands I'll send it away and be done with that.

So I guess my next goal should be finishing the personal trainer certification. I've looked up testing times and they have a bunch for next month at UAA. It's testing by proxy up here in Alaska; ACE never does live tests up here as far as I've seen. Not enough money in it, I'll bet. I hate not having someone there who can answer questions, though.

And yes, I'm still waffling about it. But as I have no other goals in mind and there's nothing up here for work except retail and summer temp, I don't really see what other choice I have. So I'll be signing up for the test soon and hope that gives me the motivational kick in the butt to get it done. Since it costs about $250 and a retake is $145, it better motivate me!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Things are heating up!

Okay, well, they're heating up in comparison to our winter temps. I'd say upper 40s and low 50s is pretty darn warm!

I'm feeling pretty random today: not much to do and way too tired to do it. Lots of things floating around in my head and way too short-attention-span-theatre to think any of it through. Here's a short list, though:

Auditions for "Pride and Prejudice" are coming next month. I'm really excited and also worried. My husband would rather I not do this show since it means rehearsals will be going summer long. And summer is short! I totally see where he's coming from, but I look at it differently from him: I'm not getting any younger and I've done ONE show since we moved here. ONE. If I keep waiting and waiting for perfect timing, I know I'll look back and say, "What the f@%# was wrong with me?!" And maybe I'm too old for the part I want already! As usual, it depends on the guys that are cast. If they get nothing but teenagers, I'm out of the loop; I'm too old to play against teenagers and too young to play the mother. Ah, well.

I'm studying for the personal trainer certificate so I can add to my hours at the club by being a personal trainer as well as a fitness instructor. But I admit I'm not studying nearly as much as I should be, and I think I know the reason: I'm not really sure if I want to do this. Frankly, I like being at home and just teaching. I know I'm hardly making any money and that's a big issue, but I like this current situation. Logan likes it too: I'm home when he is, I can keep the house clean and do the shopping and anything else that needs doing. I always have the same days off as he does. But I know the lack of money is always on his mind. And he's pushing me toward the personal training thing. It's not a bad push, but it's pushing all the same. I'm dragging my feet because I'm not sure I'm going to like it. And then what will I do?

I'm really enjoying the classes I teach. Adding the Group Power is also adding to my personal power: Not to be narcissistic or anything like that, but I like the hard body I'm getting. I'm particularly proud of my abs, and if I were a different type of girl (and if I lived in a warmer state) I'd show them off! But I'm not, so I don't.

My karate class is really going well, but the longer it runs, the more aware I am that my students are not going to be able to progress if I keep the class at the club. I've discovered I'm not really going to get any support from Logan. I know, I'm surprised too. He's the original karate freak. But he's too busy with his job. Also, since money is always an obsession for him, he doesn't want me to go rent a space for my own business. He thinks it'll just take money away. We talk about using the garage, but that's going to take some work.

Argh. Lots of things going on in my mind and not much of it is pleasant. It's too easy to just vacillate in limbo instead of pressing forward when I'm not sure which "forward" I want to press to. Sigh.