The Great, Fantabulous, Marvelicious Pregnancy Pet Peeve Rant!

I was having a good laugh a little bit ago reading about the different pregnancy pet peeves that women develop during their nine-month "miracle time." A lot about criticizing name choices, breastfeeding opinions (opinions and advice about anything, really), comments on belly sizes, even choosing birthdays. ("Oh, you should have the baby on my birthday! Even though your due date is three weeks ahead of that!")

I've had a serious rant cooking in my brain for several weeks. Actually, ever since I announced that I am pregnant with my first child.

So let me begin this epic RANT with the following caveats:

I am not a doctor or medical professional. Before you do anything, always check with your doc. I do, however, have a Bachelors in Kinesiology and a Masters in Sport Performance, a third degree black belt in karate, and multiple certifications in Group Fitness Instruction. I do not believe one study is the end-all-be-all answer to any health question, especially since money can make research tell you whatever it pays for these days. I try to do as much research as I can manage on a topic before spouting my opinion in such a public way, but admittedly, my research is largely limited to the internet, which is not always reliable. I do glean a lot, though, from my background in schooling, as well as my certification publications, such as ACE's magazine.

Some of my closest and dearest friends have been known to commit the "atrocities" I am about to annihilate. I in no way want to make them feel bad for the things they have said to me, but I do want to explain in detail why this gets me so hot under the collar. I am a first time mom-to-be, and I do not have loads of experience with children, most seriously lacking in time spent with infants. I want opinions, I want advice, and I want people to understand when I decide not to take their advice. I also want people to know why I might get snappy about this subject, when I generally try to be an un-snappy person. Please remember as you read on that everyone has opinions and these are merely mine. I'm fine if you disagree, I'm just begging you not to make it personal, or make a mountain out of a molehill.

So if I'm so worried about other people disagreeing with me, why am I bothering with this rant?

Because this is an issue that I think is extremely important. Because this issue reaches deep into every human being, male or female, and many struggle with it day in and day out, pregnant or not.

So here, my friends, begins my biggest pregnancy pet peeve rant. Prepare yourself, for it's going to be a long read.

If I hear one more person say, "If you're craving something, you should just go ahead and eat it because your baby needs it," I'm going to -- 

(Okay, I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do. I don't want to be violent, and there's many arguments that I'm already crazy, so ... )

A while ago, I posted on Facebook that I was seriously craving McDonald's Chicken McNuggets, and it was too bad I am aware of how horrible they are for the body. This was a random lament, not one I expected to spark such a huge reaction in me.

Every single person who commented on that post said the same thing: "Eat the nuggets."

There were variations on that, of course, but the message was the same.

(Again, if you are one of my beloved friends who made one of those comments, please understand that I'm not angry or trying to hurt you. I just want everyone to see where this rant is coming from, and why it's so important to me.)

I get it. Fast food and junk food is a big part of society's vast array of edible choices. It's not harmful if it's eaten every once in a while, not as a main staple.

The problem is, most of us have our heads in the sand when it comes to the reality check of "How much are you really eating?"

Sugar is everywhere. It's being put in everything, in various forms. And it is highly addicting. I myself am a serious junk food addict. And that's where the problem lies.

People say they can control how much junk they eat, but are they really?

I don't want to get in the great diet debate. I mean, like Paleo vs Vegetarian vs Vegan vs Wheat vs Dairy, etc. That's a debate that will never die and will always have hard core backers that swear this diet or that diet works for them.

But I think we can all agree that there is too much sugar in most of our store-bought items, too many chemical ingredients in prepackaged food. I think we can also agree that fast food restaurants are not in business for our health. They are in business to make money. Their food is addicting to keep us coming back for more, even knowing how unhealthy most of it is. The only reason any fast food joints are offering "healthier" options is because of public backlash and people suing for making them fat.

Okay, got that out there. So what does this have to do with pregnancy cravings?

I have seen many forms of this opinion floating around: If you are craving something, that means your baby needs it.

Now, I don't think I've hit that point yet where the crazy pregnant lady cravings are supposed to happen. I'm not quite fourteen weeks along at this point. As mentioned in my last post, I have had the aversions, the nausea, and the superpower sense of smell. Most of those have now gone by the wayside. (I'm still waiting for the trips to the bathroom to lessen, but I think I should give up on that ship.)

I've had cravings most of my life, stemming from my teenage years when I ate bags of candy in one sitting and had fast food every week. Since my mid-twenties, though, I decided I didn't like the aftereffects of such binges. I decided it wasn't worth the crashes after the sugar high, the racing heart, the jittery shakes, the queasy tummy. I stopped buying candy, doughnuts, and Mickey D's. I asked my mother to stop sending me bags of candy on holidays. Husband and I wanted to try going Paleo, and took a year to eat up all the pasta, cereals, and other grains we'd stored. We still have brown rice and dairy, so we're not exclusively Paleo, but we're eating a lot more fruits, nuts, and veggies than we did before. Our eating habits have significantly improved, and so has our general health and well being.

When I had my first trimester nausea and food aversions, I became so desperate to find something that sounded good, something that my queasy tummy would accept. I turned to cereals and pastas during that time. But at least everything I chose I kept as organic and all natural and healthy as I possibly could.

Those Chicken McNuggets I was craving? Hubby went to Fred Meyer and got me a box of high quality, minimal ingredient, organic chicken nuggets that actually tasted much better than the fast food version. (Though admittedly, they were expensive as hell. I've only had that one box since then.)

Now, I realize I'm starting to sound preachy, maybe even holier-than-thou. That's not my intent. My intent is to lead by example, to walk the walk as well as talk the talk. My career has been all about helping people get on track to a healthier lifestyle, and sometimes that requires being the mean one, the raging bitch about important issues.

I know a lot of moms out there will be yelling about how there's no such thing as a bad craving, how if you're craving a certain food, it is because your baby needs something in it.

And those are the key words: something in it.

Most of us will be craving garbage all the time, because most of us have eaten garbage for so long and we like it. I know fast food is horrible, but if my husband, or mother or whoever, brought me a McDonald's double cheeseburger, twenty-piece nuggets, and large fries with a Sprite, I'd probably eat it because it smells so damn good. I am not perfect. (Did I mention I'm not perfect?)

But this statement infuriates me so much because so many women use it as a banner to cave in to whatever junk they want to eat, because "the baby needs it."

So if a mom-to-be told you she was craving dirt, laundry detergent, sand, or rocks, what would you say? "Go ahead and eat it because your baby needs it!"

Good lord, I pray not.

Most likely you would tell her that she is deficient in something and to seek medical assistance. According to this article (see link), it may be an iron deficiency, as many women get anemic while pregnant. But it may be the body is missing other vitamins and minerals too.

http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/unusual-cravings-pica/

There are other sites that mention possible reasons behind other, more regular cravings and possible solutions to them (such as having sorbet or yogurt instead of ice cream).

So why is it okay to tell a woman that if she is craving junk food to go ahead and eat it? Wouldn't healthier substitutes be a better suggestion?

For example, when I have a major chocolate craving, my response is to make a Paleo chocolate mug cake. It is composed of organic cocoa powder, coconut flour, almond flour, an egg, coconut milk, real maple syrup, a little organic vanilla extract, and honey. I mix it up in a coffee mug and bake it. I believe this to be a much better option than most of the chocolate bar and candy options out there.

Or perhaps I'll buy a small container of organic chocolate ice cream with the fewest ingredients I can find and share it with my husband. Or maybe a bar of organic dark chocolate of at least 78% dark.

So many women struggle with diet, health, and body image in their regular lives, with so much tempting food out there that is bad for us. But I would hope and pray that during this time of all times, when a woman is growing a precious new life within her, that she would realize that this is the time to take charge. It's no longer just about her. It's about the little one inside her that has no control over the decisions mommy makes about her body.

One of my fears is that my child will be born with those cravings already in place. It has been documented that babies can taste what the mother eats during pregnancy through the amniotic fluid, and during breastfeeding through the milk. They develop likes and dislikes during that time. Babies can be born addicted to the drugs or the cigarettes the mother was smoking, and then they have to go through withdrawal after birth. I do not want my child to have the same health issues that some I love dearly have been dealing with their whole lives.

If we know these things about our babies, how can we just wave away the importance of what we eat while the child is developing?

It's hard, though. I know how incredibly hard it is, especially this time of year, with Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas all one right after the other. But we can make better choices, at least during this one time when our unborn children are residing within us. For example, when my child is born, I want to start a new Halloween function. Sort of a Trunk or Treat thing, where the treats are toys, books, or useful goodies instead of candy. Or if this is not possible, perhaps trading the candy for a larger toy the child has been wanting, and then disposing of that candy in some other fashion. (I heard there's a dentist in Anchorage who buys back children's Halloween candy after the holiday because he cares about kids' teeth. I want to meet this guy.)

For those who moan about junk food being okay in moderation, all I ask is that you take a real hard, definitive look at your diet and see if it really matches with your belief. Check the ingredients of packaged food that you buy at the store. My midwifery has their clients fill out a food diary for three days. I decided to do it for longer than that, and keep track of my diet as well as exercise. (Since I am no longer teaching at this time, I need the record so I know for sure I'm exercising as regularly as I think I am.) Sure enough, I was skipping more days of exercise than I was willing to admit to myself, even after my fatigue and nausea issues had vanished. Now I can fix that.

My biggest hope for this public post is that it will help other pregnant women make better choices for themselves and for their children. There is so much information out there about what pregnant women should and should not do, and much of it is conflicting. But I believe that healthy eating is one thing that a woman should not stint on or dither about. In improving her own life and health, she can also help those closest to her improve, such as spouses, family members, and friends.

You know, that whole "Physician, health thyself" thing.

Whew. That was quite a load off my chest (which has been getting heavier by the moment without such subjects weighing on it). Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. ;)

While I'm here, I will further demonstrate how I am not perfect: Every Saturday, I have a small Sierra Mist soda with my garden salad lunch and Sun Chips. On Halloween, I had my organic dark chocolate, but I did have a single York Peppermint Patty at a restaurant after my shrimp salad. At a Nanowrimo meeting last Saturday, I had a sugar cookie with icing and some Cranberry Sprite (after informing everyone to keep me away from the rest of the cookies, else they disappear.)

Also, if it is a choice between a less healthy food option and not eating at all because of nausea and vomiting, I understand how difficult it can be to make yourself eat when you're not hungry. So if it would otherwise mean starving yourself, then go ahead and eat something. But try your best to make it organic or all natural or some equivalent. The fewer ingredients on the list, the better.

At this point, all I can say is: Blessed be, lots of luck to you other mothers-to-be, and

END RANT

A Week of No Facebook

Well, it's been about two weeks since I started that "No Facebook" experiment. I actually ended it the evening before the week was up because of a karaoke contest I was in at the Alaska State Fair. I wanted to post a video of my performance for my family and friends who wouldn't be able to see it otherwise. (Before you ask, no, I didn't even place. I don't really want to talk about it.)

I've been visiting Facebook the last week, even going so far as to load the apps on my phone and iPad again. Here was what I noticed:

I'm spending far less time on Facebook than I was before. And in some ways, I kind of feel bad about that. I'm getting on to post things about my own life, but not really spending much time seeing what's going on in others' lives like I want to. It's just too much. There are so many people I love and want to see on Facebook that it has become a giant time-suck I just don't have the energy to keep up with. So there are a few feelings of guilt tied in with it.

I got so much more productive when I got off Facebook. Getting things done around the house, cooking some new recipes, writing more, and so on. Yesterday I noticed that I was returning to my habit of checking Facebook on my iPad multiple times during the day (though not spending as much time on it as before). That was preventing me from doing things that needed to be get done, like dishes. (I hate, hate, hate doing dishes. Have I mentioned that before? So I always go for the distractions to get away from that sink.)

So I have once again deleted the apps from my phone and iPad.

I've been sending more text messages to the people I miss the most (the ones who have text messaging, that is. Yes, there are still people out there who don't have it and don't want it.)

So I still haven't deleted my account. And I'm not sure why I haven't. If I don't want to spend time on it, why bother keeping it? I guess it's to leave that one window open to those who use Facebook for communication and nothing else. Like those people who don't have text messaging in their phone plans. (Ahem, Mom?) ;)

And I imagine I'll probably want to use it for information mining as well, asking people about their experiences and reviews on places or products. I've found that to be very helpful this week in particular.

More on that later.

The First Day of No Facebook

So, yeah, it's only the end of the first day and I'm already blogging again.

Facebook withdrawal?

Maaaaaaaaybeeeeee ...

I noticed something interesting today. While I was actually out and about for a big chunk of the day, I had several hours at home in the afternoon and evening. I started out doing some writing. After a bit, I noticed my brain shifting away, wanting to play an app game like Candy Crush, or hop on Facebook.

So I started learning a new song. I want to keep my soprano range in shape, so I chose "Glitter and Be Gay" from Candide. I remember seeing it years ago performed by a beautiful woman with a the richest soprano voice and the strongest jawline I'd ever seen on a female. Then I saw Kristin Chenoweth do it with even more humor looking like a little Dolly Parton in a big blonde wig, cute pink dress, and high heels that laced like ballet slippers.

This song is going to take some time. Talk about your vocal gymnastics. Whew!

When my mind started wandering toward app games and Facebook again, I started making a mini teddy bear. I designed a new pattern (I've made dozens and I'm still not satisfied with the results. I'll get there someday.) If I like the way this one turns out, I'll crochet a scarf and hat from the green qiviut yarn I got a while ago. I haven't used it because it is around $95 for a small skein of about 175 yards. Precious stuff.

Anyway, every time my mind would wander to Facebook and games, I'd direct it to some other project. For example, this blog post is happening because hubby is busy and I'm avoiding Facebook.

So here's my revelation:

I hadn't realized just how often I get on Facebook or play Facebook-related games on the iPad, or those time management games like Diner Dash on my laptop. It was my version of spacing out in front of the TV. I wasn't engaged, I wasn't thinking, I wasn't producing anything. I was just zoning.

And I was doing it a lot!

Even when I stopped teaching at the club, I felt like I didn't have that much time to do stuff. The time I spent trying to read everyone's posts and see everyone's pictures, as well as making and sharing posts and pics of my own, was astronomical. The time spent playing games that I didn't really have to pay much attention to was almost as big. Even when I was "cutting back."

The desire to tune out is addicting. My drug was Facebook and app games instead of the television.

The television is actually more of a tool for me than Facebook. I use it to help me get motivated to do certain chores, like washing dishes. Yes, I really did say I use the TV for washing dishes. This seems like it would be a hinderance, but I usually put on musicals and sing along with the show tunes while soaping and rinsing. Otherwise, doing dishes is a hideously boring chore that has to be done, much to my dismay, every single day.

And no, I do not have an automatic dishwasher.

Only one day without Facebook, and I'm already so much more productive and feel better about things in general.

Don't get me wrong. I miss seeing my friends on there, chatting with people, seeing baby pictures and Throwback Thursday photos, sharing the posts of kitties needing adoption or fostering (Alaska has some uncommonly pretty cats!) While I knew some people were annoyed with my sharing of adoptable cats and kittens, the two times that friends of mine adopted one made it worth it. So worth it.

Nonetheless, I have the feeling I'm done with my personal Facebook account. I'm thinking of going back to Twitter for a bit, since I never spent very much time with it. Perhaps eventually I will start a professional author Facebook page.

Then again ... ;)

The Break From Facebook

I remember when I first started using Facebook. After the blingy-ness and teenager-ish feeling of MySpace, it seemed very plain and almost boring. It wasn't long before I was on Facebook exclusively.

I started playing games like Yoville and Family Feud. I collected more and more friends from theatre, from home, from high school.

And then I hit a turning point. I'm not sure why. I guess I just started noticing how much time I spent on Facebook and not doing all the things I love doing: reading, writing, singing, playing guitar, keeping my house clean. (Okay, I don't really love doing that last one, but I do love the results.)

As time has rolled by, I've limited my visits. The more news reports on how Facebook invades our privacy in the name of advertising and making money, the more I cut back on my Facebook time. I stopped keeping up with my newsfeed, even knowing there were things I wanted to see and wasn't. I stopped "liking" everything, especially when I learned that's how they gear their advertising to you specifically, and even control what you see.

I recently quit my job. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, I quit my job as a fitness instructor. Lots of reasons, a whole other post on its own. Let's just say we did it to cut back on expenses related to it, and to increase the amount of time I can spend with my family.

So you would think that with all this extra time on my hands, that I wouldn't worry about time spent on Facebook.

In reality, I find I have even less desire to be on Facebook than before I quit.

So I'm conducting an experiment. If you've ever tried to reduce the clutter in your house, you are probably familiar with the adage, "If you haven't used it for a year, get rid of it." Or to test this, you put the things in a box with the date on it. If you haven't opened that box within a year, donate it to a thrift store without even looking inside.

I'm giving up Facebook and all related apps for a week (stuff like Candy Crush, etc.) I'm encouraging friends to send me their email and home addresses because I want to start writing the old fashioned way. I really loved that old book series "Pen Pals" and want to bring that art back. I dusted off my address book that usually only makes appearances at Christmas. I plan on using Skype whenever possible as well.

I'm starting with a week, just to test the waters. If I don't miss it, I'll keep going. At some point, I'll probably decide to delete my account entirely.

My only stumbling block is that I love being able to see all that's going on in my friends' lives. I live thousands of miles away from many of them and Facebook has been the only reason I'm still in contact with some of them. Some have new babies, and I love watching their videos and seeing their pictures. Some do theatre, some go on thrilling adventures, some share my interests like writing. These are the reasons I was on Facebook to begin with and why I've stayed with it for so long. It's very convenient for this purpose.

So I'm not sure what to do about photos. I do love posting photos so my loved ones can see what we're up to. But I'm not at all familiar with websites that are photo-centered. Are there any out there that aren't just as bad as Facebook at violating our rights for the sake of selling us stuff?

On the upside, this may mean that I make more blog entries. :)

A Whole Lotta Stuff

It has been four months since my last post. So much has been going on.

Our last winter snow occurred on May 17th this year, either tying or breaking a record for late season snow. The weather after that for two months was perfect and beautiful, even downright hot for a long time. Almost no rain at all. Even so, we only managed to get out in it a couple of times. We got a canoe and paddled the entire length of Eklutna Lake, a feat my arms will not soon forget. Carrying the canoe back up the hill to the car afterwards was a form of torture no creature ever deserves.

And then on August 1st, the rain started. It has rained most days this month. A couple of nights ago we had a big storm roll through with hail, thunder, and lightning. Dexter actually got a little freaked out by it.

Speaking of Dexter, he and Daisy are so close and cute together, the adorableness simply floods the house. They are often cuddled up and cleaning each other. They stopped sleeping with us when the weather got hot, but every once in while they like to sit next to us or curl up in our laps. Dexter is sleek and still fairly small, a face full of character and goofiness. He likes to eat dog fur fluffies and carpet fuzz from the kitty tree. He even threw up one of my hair ties. He adores his felt mousy toys. His tongue sticks out almost all the time.

It has been something of a trial with his bathroom habits. He seems to have decided that he doesn't like the self-cleaning litter boxes (a serious disappointment for me; I loved them, and they were expensive.) AND he doesn't like "World's Best Cat Litter," which truly is the best. So he has developed a habit of crapping on the floor near the boxes. I have to keep them clean by scooping several times a day, because he won't use one that has anything in it. It's a pain, but I'm figuring him out.

Recently I admitted to myself why I have avoided writing for the last four or five months: I'm still sort of depressed and definitely exhausted.

At night I still sometimes get sad and cry over the loss of my furbabies, Dusty and Asuka. And I still always question what happened. I've lost my faith and my confidence in many things that used to be part of my coping and support system, and have nothing to replace them. I've been spending all my spare time playing video games that I have played before. For a while I started making teddy bears again, but quit halfway through one.

I've gotten sick/injured a couple of times recently and I think it's because I'm teaching a lot and there's no one to substitute for me. So the exhaustion and depression combined to the point where I'm occasionally cleaning the house, but not really accomplishing anything.

I had my heart and hopes pinned on the theatre's production of "Brigadoon" getting me out of this cycle. They did not get nearly as many people as they needed at the auditions, and still I did not get the lead or the supporting female part. Even with the one actor that I counted on showing up to auditions, it didn't happen. He got cast as the father of the lead female role. I guess I've passed my prime age window for lead roles.

I know that I would have gotten in the show if I was willing to accept any role. I'm not willing. Especially for a show that's rehearsing all summer long. I was shocked to find one of my friends with a gorgeous voice was cast in the chorus as well. Everyone is always telling me what a wonderful voice I have, so if we can't get decent roles on account of our talent, I start to wonder why I try anymore.

So now I'm a little apprehensive of auditioning for the musical that is just four female roles. The problem is that they have to play an age range of eighteen to twenty-eight. The first act is senior year in high school, the second act is the ten year reunion. This can go one of two ways: the cast will be women all around my age who look young enough to pass as a group (thirties who still have a uniform youthful look), or the cast will be women who are actually in that age range. It can't be a mix, or the women who are older will look much older beside the younger ones.

The theatre situation has got me questioning if I really have any talent at all, if maybe I'm an old hag that everyone is trying to placate and humor. A lot of things I used to be sure about are questionable at best now.

Now I'm left battling my own desire to hide away and do nothing of worth. I tell myself I don't want to start a project because something is going to interrupt it (husband getting home, needing to practice routines, cleaning house, etc). I'm even reading books I've read before so I don't have to pay attention to them. I feel overwhelmed every time I start something, thinking about everything that needs to be done.

I'm floundering a bit, trying to find direction again. I went and sang at a karaoke contest where the finalists compete at the Alaska State Fair. I got second place and a finalist spot for the show this Friday, and I'm nervous. I have deep issues with contests like this, stemming from childhood school trauma. (I can hear you asking, "So why did you do it?" Simple answer: I love to sing.)

I'm even second guessing this entire post as I write it, reread it, write some more, delete stuff, yadda yadda. Argh, make it stop.

If anyone has any extra inspiration or confidence lying about, I'd be glad to take it off your hands. :)

First week down, 51 to go ...

Posted my progress on the Write 1 Sub 1 blog: finished one story and submitted it to a contest. Finished writing a second story, but it needs revising and cutting down, since it's 17 words too long for the contest it's intended for.

Writing in the short story format is proving to be quite difficult. Normally for novels, I get a single burning great idea, and I can spend years on that one novel. (Heck, make that nine years. That's how long I've been working on Sparkless!) With Nanowrimo, I now have at least four novels that need finishing/revising.

I decided this "write one, sub one" idea was the perfect thing to get me to sit down and just WRITE. Something different every week. Something that I can sit and read through in a small amount of time and quickly revise. It's so hard not to spend days or weeks revising something I've written. I know I'm impossible to please with my own stuff, so the "submission" part is helping me with that. My main goal with this is to learn how to write good short stories and get some great feedback from publishers in the field in the process. If I get published along the way, that's a bonus.

But coming up with ideas is hard. I usually get my novel ideas from dreams, but I don't remember my dreams often enough to do a short story a week with it. Nor do they always make enough sense to lend themselves to story writing. These first two stories I've written I think I've made as interesting as I could, but there's nothing really new about them. One is based on a newspaper article I read about a local woman who killed her husband. The second is based on a theme for a contest about something important being lost and then found by someone else. Again, the same problem: I think I wrote it well, but the idea isn't new.

I think I'm frustrated by the constant pressure from the outside world to write "new" stuff, ideas that haven't been done before, concepts that haven't been explored. But is there really anything left in the world that's new? For heaven's sake, we've come to sparkly vampires as popular entertainment. I got really ticked off when I read "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." I mean, if all I had to do was take an old novel and thrust a few zombie scenes into it, then why didn't all those books on writing say so in the first place?!

Granted, I'm not writing because I want to be a famous author or make tons of money from it. Heck, if I wanted to be famous, I probably should have run off to New York and tried to make it on Broadway. I think I'm a better singer than I am a writer.

I want to entertain people. I want people to love what I write, what I sing, what I make as much as I love other writers' work, other performers' songs, and other artists' creations. I don't want to write like Tamora Pierce, I just want to make others feel the way I feel when I read her Tortall novels. Performing in Nunsense II this weekend, I was exhausted to the core, but I relish the laughter I get from the audience and the fact that some of them are crying as I sing my goodbye song. The moment I step on stage, the energy comes racing back. (Though it does desert me once more as soon as I step off the stage!)

Whew. Okay, that was kind of heavy!

I know one of my faults as a short story writer is that I've read very few short stories in my life. Most of them were read in college in English classes. I'm not sure why I can't get into reading more of them. I love novels so much, why not shorter versions as well? Maybe I just haven't tried hard enough. Maybe I need to put down "The Count of Monte Cristo" and read some shorts instead. (On page 508 of 1,058 of that, BTW.) There are just so many, it's hard to wade through the info and find a place to start.

Starting to get the desire to revise my second short story. Please excuse me.

Nanowrimo, Nunsense, and Halloween approach ...

... though not necessarily in that order.

Nanowrimo is just around the corner! (I know, still a week, but I can't wait!) I've got my novel outline ready for use on Scrivner. This will be my first time using this special program for writers on my Mac. Heard that it will be available for Windows soon, too, if it's not already. I've got a bunch of things saved in the Research folder so I can just glance at them quickly when I need them. The years before, I'd use a clipboard and just write a bunch of haphazard notes all over the paper. Not as easy to find the things I need that way.

Went to our Nanowrimo planning session at Pandemonium bookstore yesterday. I was late because of Nunsense II auditions, but I got to see all the new faces at our tables this year. The conference room was packed when I got there, but still enough room to squeeze myself in. I was way too tired to even order food by that point, but it was nice sitting in a room full of people about to embark on the same crazy adventure and listen to them talk.

Nunsense II auditions happened yesterday as well. I did a song I hadn't done before, and while I was very displeased with my singing performance, and while I always struggle with improv, I guess I did all right. I sang "Don't Rain on My Parade" from Funny Girl. Normally I don't have much trouble with belt songs, but I was so tired after teaching three exercise classes, I couldn't maintain control like I usually do and resorted to the kind of belt that I can only do for a few minutes. It sounds fine, but it's more like yelling than singing. Doesn't help that all the classes I teach require the use of my voice. Even though I use a head mic, I still get a little froggy after a long day.

For Halloween, I went through all the costumes I've made over the years: the sultry mummy and the country girl (both theatre costumes at one point), the renaissance wench, the southern belle (ding dong, ding dong!), and the goth/living dead girl dress. Much as I love the sumptuousness of the southern belle, I made it out of a fabric that turned out way too heavy, so I'll pass on that one. The mummy costume may be falling apart (it's hard to tell.) The country girl is too cold (short skirt and off the shoulder top.)

So I'm down to the wench and the goth girl. I think I'll go goth girl, since I can have some hair and makeup fun with that. I haven't worn that one since I lived in California, and I've only worn it once. I just have to make sure I can still wear it! If the temp gets real cold, I can wear long underwear and no one will be able to tell.

While I wait for the results of the Nunsense II casting, guess I'll go clean out the garage.

One hurdle down, a hundred to go ...

So I finally did the video for my Group Power certification. I haven't even seen it yet and I don't want to. I'll make a copy for my mom, but if I watch it I'll just criticize myself to death and there's no point. So once I get that in my hot little hands I'll send it away and be done with that.

So I guess my next goal should be finishing the personal trainer certification. I've looked up testing times and they have a bunch for next month at UAA. It's testing by proxy up here in Alaska; ACE never does live tests up here as far as I've seen. Not enough money in it, I'll bet. I hate not having someone there who can answer questions, though.

And yes, I'm still waffling about it. But as I have no other goals in mind and there's nothing up here for work except retail and summer temp, I don't really see what other choice I have. So I'll be signing up for the test soon and hope that gives me the motivational kick in the butt to get it done. Since it costs about $250 and a retake is $145, it better motivate me!

Things are heating up!

Okay, well, they're heating up in comparison to our winter temps. I'd say upper 40s and low 50s is pretty darn warm!

I'm feeling pretty random today: not much to do and way too tired to do it. Lots of things floating around in my head and way too short-attention-span-theatre to think any of it through. Here's a short list, though:

Auditions for "Pride and Prejudice" are coming next month. I'm really excited and also worried. My husband would rather I not do this show since it means rehearsals will be going summer long. And summer is short! I totally see where he's coming from, but I look at it differently from him: I'm not getting any younger and I've done ONE show since we moved here. ONE. If I keep waiting and waiting for perfect timing, I know I'll look back and say, "What the f@%# was wrong with me?!" And maybe I'm too old for the part I want already! As usual, it depends on the guys that are cast. If they get nothing but teenagers, I'm out of the loop; I'm too old to play against teenagers and too young to play the mother. Ah, well.

I'm studying for the personal trainer certificate so I can add to my hours at the club by being a personal trainer as well as a fitness instructor. But I admit I'm not studying nearly as much as I should be, and I think I know the reason: I'm not really sure if I want to do this. Frankly, I like being at home and just teaching. I know I'm hardly making any money and that's a big issue, but I like this current situation. Logan likes it too: I'm home when he is, I can keep the house clean and do the shopping and anything else that needs doing. I always have the same days off as he does. But I know the lack of money is always on his mind. And he's pushing me toward the personal training thing. It's not a bad push, but it's pushing all the same. I'm dragging my feet because I'm not sure I'm going to like it. And then what will I do?

I'm really enjoying the classes I teach. Adding the Group Power is also adding to my personal power: Not to be narcissistic or anything like that, but I like the hard body I'm getting. I'm particularly proud of my abs, and if I were a different type of girl (and if I lived in a warmer state) I'd show them off! But I'm not, so I don't.

My karate class is really going well, but the longer it runs, the more aware I am that my students are not going to be able to progress if I keep the class at the club. I've discovered I'm not really going to get any support from Logan. I know, I'm surprised too. He's the original karate freak. But he's too busy with his job. Also, since money is always an obsession for him, he doesn't want me to go rent a space for my own business. He thinks it'll just take money away. We talk about using the garage, but that's going to take some work.

Argh. Lots of things going on in my mind and not much of it is pleasant. It's too easy to just vacillate in limbo instead of pressing forward when I'm not sure which "forward" I want to press to. Sigh.

Focusing on Fitness and Fun

So I've officially quit my job in the Fitness Department at Sports Authority. My last day was a couple of days ago and I already miss many of the people I worked with. I loved the social aspect, even though most of the time the job itself was rather boring. I'm not a huge fan of retail, but it keeps popping up in my life no matter how I try to avoid it.

Now I'll be concentrating on my fitness instructor career and adding yet another certification to my list: Personal Training. I'm a bit nervous about this; one of the things I like about the group class environment is that it can remain impersonal. I don't have to know a person's life history or get buried in personal hang-ups. They come to class, we have some fun exercising, all of us together, and then we go.

Personal training, well, it's right there in the title: personal. You're there to help the client achieve their health goals in life, so you have to know a lot more about them to start off. And you can't force anyone to do anything. If they don't truly want to help themselves, there isn't anything I can do.

I realize right now I'm thinking too much about the bad sides of things. It's new, it's different, it's scary. And there are some things with the club itself that are ticking me off right now as well, so that doesn't help my mood. But it's something that my Masters Degree in Kinesiology will actually be an asset to. And I am excited about this. Really. >rolls eyes<

I also realize that I need to get out more. We've spent the whole two years (nearly three) we've lived in Alaska fighting for every second of time to enjoy life: hiking, seeing friends, whatever. Because of our jobs, we've had to miss out on so much. Logan summed it up when a coworker asked him if he was going to get out and do things this summer. Logan had answered that we're going to try. The coworker responded, "You say that every year."

And he's right. Each summer we say we're going to do those things that many move to Alaska to do. And our jobs, the lack of similar days off, and our responsibilities have made it thus far near impossible.

So when an issue came up in regards to my class schedule at the absolute last minute, I had to put my foot down and let them know that I would not be available on the day they wanted. It made me feel bad to do that, and yet I was not informed of this change until the day before they submitted the new schedule. What else could I do? My relationship and our well being are important to me.

Now that we have a house, things will settle into a more definite pattern. What we do this summer will set the stage for the rest of our lives here, I think. So we want to make the best of things.

On that positive note: anyone up for karaoke? >big grin<

Wind, books, and dogs!

What do these three things have in common? They're all driving me crazy!

The wind has been gusting somewhere between 50 and 100 miles per hour for the last few days. Sometimes it's kind of funny, like when the wind blew me along the corridor to the front door of the club today. It was like effortless jogging!

But when you can't even set you garbage can out for pickup because it blows away, or when thick drifts of leftover snow get packed into the road or your driveway, or your power goes out for hours and hours, that's not fun at all. I really hate it when it sucks my breath away and takes me a few moments to inhale again. I feel like I'm suffocating.

I haven't touched the 100 book list yet this year, though I have read a novel of Redwall and Ella Enchanted so far this year. I think I'll need to get a library card to accomplish this reading task I've set myself. And my own novel is still inching along at a glacial speed. I may be able to finish it sometime in the next geological age.

My dog Bruno decided to take a jaunt through the neighborhood with his new canine pals. A lot of people in this area let their dogs run around loose, which doesn't bother me too much as long as they don't start fights with mine or damage our things. Since I was working on digging out the drift that has blocked my husband's truck in the driveway, I let the dogs have a little fun and run in the yard.

Uffda was a good girl. When Bruno left the yard, I didn't see him, but she did. I could tell she badly wanted to follow him but she came back to me when I called her. I gave her love and brought her inside for a cookie.

I went back out to call for Bruno. I was sure he couldn't hear me thanks to the dratted wind, so I had to go back inside to thaw a bit before I could search for him. I grabbed a leash while I was in there.

I walked along the road (or trudged, since I was wearing heavy boots.) I passed the next door neighbor and reached the duplex on the other side before i saw him. Sure enough, he was running around with two or three other dogs. When I called him, he pulled up short. One of his friends ran right up to me, stumpy tail wagging, so I petted him. Then I called Bruno again.

He took as long as he possibly could have, moving like a snail because he knew he was in trouble and was in no hurry to reap it. But he came straight to me. Since he came when I called and sat when I told him, I merely put the leash on him and said, "Say goodbye to your friends." He walked calmly beside me, not pulling as he usually wants to do. All the way to the house. No cookie for him today.

I can't wait until spring.

Wow, I can cook!

So as most of my family and friends know, I've never made turkey dinner or anything big and fancy for dinner before.

Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners were always handled by my mother and grandmother, or Logan's mother. I would occasionally bake cookies or help out a bit here and there, but never had anything to do with the main components of cooking the dinner.

So today I cooked what was supposed to be our Thanksgiving turkey, but ended up being our Christmas turkey instead.

I learned a lot from this experience, I tell you what!

First of all, I need to get a real roasting pan, not one of those disposables. My disposable sprung a leak early on and now my oven needs a serious degreasing.

Second of all, I realized I didn't have a platter or any dish big enough to hold the turkey after cooking. I had to pop it in my wok while I spooned the veggies out of the roasting pan.

Also, I found out that the recipes I got off the internet were incomplete. One gave me the neat idea of using veggies (onion, carrots, celery, and a few potato and mushroom chunks) on the bottom of the roasting pan as a cushion for the turkey, as I did not have a rack for it to rest on. But it didn't show me anything about actually roasting the darn thing! And later, when I got to the gravy part, they didn't give any details as to how many cups of milk or how much corn starch. I had to guess by looking at the demonstration video and hoping I was right (I was a little off and now have tons of gravy, but at least it tastes good.)

I made a royal mess in the kitchen that had to be cleaned up three times during the whole process, thanks to the leaky roasting pan.

I started panicking when I reached the end of the roasting time allotted by the recipe I was using and the internal temp was still just below raw! I added nearly two extra hours before it got to an acceptable temp.

The veggies were really tasty (probably the best part of the meal. I will definitely do that next year.) The gravy was a bit watery (or milky, I guess you'd call it), but flavorful. The turkey was NOT dried cardboard, as I had been worried it would be. And so far, neither of us is screaming of stomach pains or dashing to the bathroom. The organic, whole wheat cookies and brownies were a bit dry, but yummy. Logan seemed pretty happy, so I guess it was a success.

We took pictures of the process and I wrote down a whole lot of notes from the experience so that next year I can do better.



The whole meal together: turkey, brown rice, gravy, veggies, and chocolate chip cookies!



Look, Dad! I can cook!

The cleanup time took a while. After looking at the amount of garbage generated and considering the amount of money spent (and wondering if we'll be able to finish the leftovers between the two of us), I do kind of wonder if this kind of meal is worth the effort it took. I learned a lot, it was fun, and it tasted good, but I was wiped out afterward. And I had to spend extra time cleaning up after. I do admit, however, that the cleanup wouldn't have been as big a deal if my pan hadn't been leaking.

My mother mentioned that the cooking time may have taken so much longer because of where we are. We are definitely in a different location than California, that's for sure!

All in all, it was a fantastic experience. I think I'll invest in a few more cooking tools and try roasting a couple of organic chickens in a few months. Maybe for my birthday ...

Merry Christmas!

I Am Disgusted

Before I bust a gut, I'd like to start by saying Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and I hope you all had a wonderful day and a wonderful meal. I was thinking of all my friends and family. I love and miss you all.

Okay, enough with the sentiment. I am thoroughly disgusted with the human race.

I am very familiar with the aptly named "Black Friday". I've worked in a few different retail environments and I understand there are people who see Black Friday as a holiday tradition. Not to mention it's a great time to get all your Christmas gift buying done in one day with some kick-@$$ deals.

But come on, people!

Near miscarriages? Injuries? Stampedes? People getting trampled until they DIE?! Worse, the people trying to save that trampled person's life getting pushed and jostled as mindless shoppers rush past to get to the TVs and video games.

"Black Friday" used to mean the day that retail stores are no longer in the red, no longer in debt. To me, it now means a day to stay home and mourn the human race. Mourn the loss of all sense and compassion for others. Truly a black day.

And all for THINGS. For INANIMATE OBJECTS that will entertain us and distract us for a time but by themselves do not bring happiness or peace of mind.

Closer to home, I'm pretty sure there weren't any deaths or injuries, but there were individuals causing noisy scenes because the store was out of a particular item that was on sale today. People threatening to sue for "false advertising". People who don't bother to stop and think about what's going on in the world today.

While I don't like to make political statements, this one speaks for itself. This item was out of stock and not likely to be in stock any time soon because of who will be in office come next year. If any of those people causing scenes had been in the store the day after the election, they wouldn't be surprised by the current situation in the least.

Heck, people were getting pissed off because we were out of SOCKS! That's what happens when you have a really, really good deal on SOCKS!

Get a grip, humans, before it's too late.

And now for something completely different ...

Nanowrimo is drawing to a close. I have only a couple of days to reach 50k. I'm pretty certain I'll cross the finish line this year. And with a novel that I really have no intention of doing much with, at least not until I finish working on the ones that came before. At about 43k right now, it's nowhere near being done. It's a big block of stone that will need quite a lot of carving sometime down the road.

My rehearsals are going well enough. I'm a little nervous because some of my solos keep getting pushed back, so not only have we not done any choreography for them, I haven't really even practiced singing them with the music director playing the piano!

But I'm working with a fantastic group of people and I feel like I'm getting pretty tight with them. Most of us went out for drinks at the Great Bear Brewing Company restaurant the night before Thanksgiving after rehearsal. We chatted and talked about past shows (I'm the only one that hasn't been in one at VPA before.) I got to hear a lot of great stories and I'm proud and pleased to be working with such a group. This one puts some other theatres I've worked with (which shall remain nameless) to shame. These people know how to make theatre successful in a small town!

Ah, well. Time to go back to writing. Need to be at 45k before tomorrow when I attend the last write-in to make sure I finish a day ahead of the end!

PASSED!

Wow, it has been a while since I last posted. But I was frantically trying to study for the ACE exam and see my visiting family during the last couple of weeks.

It just cracks me up (and that's the happy way of putting it), as I have mentioned to my friends and anyone who would listen many a time, that I put soooooo many years into my schooling. My father paid out the money, my husband and I put out the money while we lived with his parents (and I wholly admit that it was mostly Logan's money). I endured many heartaches and setbacks along the way and manged to accomplish the goal of completing my Masters degree.

I also poured years into my martial arts training. 10 years (give or take) in a world of "McDojo" where people get black belts in two years, with buckets of sweat and even some blood a possible fracture or two mixed in to get my blackbelt. And then be promoted to 2nd degree when I was mostly just doing massage, well, that was just a blessing.

And yet here I am,still fighting to get a job in the fitness world where "certification" is king. And my degrees and years of stress mean nothing!

I took my ACE exam today after about a year-and-a-half of preparing off and on. I'm happy to report that I passed.

But now that the excitement has worn off a tad bit, I'm even more frustrated by this whole situation.

I passed because the manual for the ACE Group Fitness Exam was basically my whole college career boiled down to 12 chapters. I'm not sure I learned anything new. And all I had to do was review and regurgitate. Just like all those college tests I slogged through.

>Heave big sigh<

Ah, well. At least I've finally done it. Now I just have to maintain my status and actually get my foot in the business. Follow the money, as my dear friend Matthew told me. I hope this will lead to where I want to go. Right now it's looking like small change, bird food, baby steps, whatever cliche for going nowhere fast you'd like to enter here.

On a more cheerful note, my parents and my aunt and uncle came to Alaska for a visit, so I'm going to begin posting lots of touristy stuff that will interest the people who click on my blog because they see the word Alaska in it. I'll also be putting lots of pictures in on Myspace since I can only put so many in here. So there will be lots more to come!

Isn't it ironic...

This kind of cracked me up a bit. But it's too true.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080718/lf_nm_life/gasoline_alaska_dc

Anyway, after that bit of levity (or lack of it, perhaps), I'll be posting here pretty soon about the things that people can do when they come up to Alaska for a visit. My husband's brother just left after a 10 day excursion here and we went out and took many pictures of our misadventures. I won't be able to post them all, of course (we took over 300!), but I'll post the ones that best illustrate our trips.

In the meantime, I'm still unemployed, but I did talk to the operations manager at one of the local fitness clubs here. It's so frustrating that my masters degree in kinesiology and second degree black belt all mean nothing in the light that I'm not "certified". This certification is just a brief reenactment of everything I studied for my bachelors and masters degrees. And it cost nearly $250 for the privelege of taking their test.

Sigh.

Well, I'm biting the bullet and getting it done. Got my CPR and First Aid cert a few days ago. I'm signed up for the test on the 5th of August.

And my parents are on their cruise, heading here to visit us! I can't wait!

Gotta go. More later.

Movin' On Up... Well, movin on, anyway!

I've decided to leave my job as an office manager. The very job that helped me and Logan get up here to Alaska. Logan is not quitting his job, though.

Why am I leaving? I can't work for a company that refuses to see the people that work for them as their major working organs that keep their life's blood (the customers) flowing in and out and back again. The corporation sees the employees as numbers on a page and those numbers are wrong a majority of the time. So they make knee jerk reactive decisions based on false information that affects the employees in negative ways. I will not be party to that anymore.

So what will I do next?

First thing, I'm going to get my ACE certification. I can take the test in Anchorage. That's a relief because I was worried I'd have to try to squeeze it in during a trip to California or something! Then I'm going to apply at the local fitness clubs and start teaching kickbox aerobics and stuff like that again.

I'm going to see if I can get a foot in the door at the local college here, too. Only problem is last I looked in their website, they only had three PE classes and one was canceled. I have to find out why that is.

Anyway, I'm a grouchy bear today because I'm in limbo. I'm training my replacement, but aching to get on with my life. Logan has been very supportive through this whole mess.

Well, that's the update on my life. Tune in later to see what happens next! (You can tell when I've run out of things to say because I turn to the very cliche!)

The Winds of Change...

... and all that corny cliche jazz.

The winds here are royally fierce! When they're calm, you can almost feel warm when standing in the sun, but they've been howling for several days now and you have to bundle up to make sure not a breeze gets through your clothes. Instant body rocking shivers. And I don't mean body rocking in a good way.

Logan is in Montana now getting trained up for his new position. I think they're also checking him out to make sure they're not putting a pyscho in charge of a multimillion dollar store. No official offer yet, but we did hear one thing for certain: I will not be office manager for the new store at all.

This sucks on so many levels. For one thing, I can understand the potential for HR issues. But if they're going to make a rule, they need to make it a rule for all. This "rule" is being broken all over the place throughout the company, mostly on the corporate level. But hey, who am I to judge, right?

At least they admitted that they would not be able to find someone better than me.

That pretty much solidified what we'll take as far as salary for Logan. I'll be without a job going to a new area that's more expensive than here in Alaska.

Once again my talents are being thrown in my face as worthless. It's starting to bring me down. First, I'm told my masters degree and 2nd degree black belt mean nothing since I'm not a "certified" instructor. Now I'm being told it doesn't matter that I'm a good office manager and that my presence at store set would make a lot of things go a lot smoother because I've done it before and have some idea of what needs to be done.

And my puppy is driving me insane because he has very good days and very bad days. Yesterday he woke me up three times during the night, pooped on the floor in the apartment, pooped in the office at work, and generally made a pest of himself. He has recurring diarrhea, as in his poop is fine one day and really bad the next and there doesn't seem to be any reason for it.

Today he's ripping open trash bags, chewing on everything in sight, and harrassing the cats. I can't concnetrate on anything because when he's not in sight, he's doing something he's not supposed to.

But I still love him, of course. Anyone who looks at that adorable face couldn't help themselves.

He's getting big now, too. He's stretching out, legs getting longer, body getting longer. More crazy dog energy. We need to get a house in California, I think. A place with a yard for him to run around in without a leash. And maybe another canine friend.

I'm taking today off, but it's wierd having a day off without Logan. I'm just hanging around the apartment, chasing the puppy out of the garbage. I'm really frustrated, so I guess I'm venting. right now.

Thank you to those who suggested I continue on with the blog even after moving back to California. I may close this blog and start a new one. The whole point to this blog was living in Alaska.

Logan asked me if I would regret leaving Alaska. I told him we would have regretted never coming here, but I don't think we'll regret leaving. It's opened up the world for us in a way no other state would have. I'm now a seasoned flyer, which I never would have been without living here. Who knows? So much has happened to us in the last couple of years, what could a decade bring? Or even half a decade?

Ah, well. There went my attention span. Time to go walk the puppy. And take the trash out while it's still in the bag.

Christmas, Christmas Time Is Near...

In chipmunk voice, of course. Quickly followed by All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.

On the work front, people have finally started chucking me out the door at a normal time recently. Today, since Logan was scheduled a different shift than me and he has the "rental", one of the managers offered to drop me off at home. I was just going to stay there from open to close and go home with Logan. It's just too easy to stay at work as long as I have work to do, which I always do. But this is good. I should start leaving after a normal manager shift, anyway. I want to do theater. And I'm getting fat, so maybe we'll be able to join the local club soon.

And don't roll your eyes at me, those who know my skinny butt. It ain't skinny no more. For the first time, I'm having trouble zipping up one of my favorite pairs of pants. I look mostly the same when covered in clothes, but if you saw my underneath (short of being shocked that I'm baring that much flesh, ha ha), you'd see what I mean. I think my body is reacting to the cold weather and the fact that I have a sit-down job without time to work out regularly. I feel like the contents of a dump truck.

But enough about my butt. Let's talk about your butt!

Just kidding.

So I was asked what should a person who is moving to Alaska bring with them. From my own experience, here's a few things:

#1 - Bring thermals. Bring thermal underwear. It makes all the difference when your warmest days are in the single digits. (We haven't reached that mark yet, but it's rapidly approaching, since most days are in the teens and 20s now. The winter has yet to truly begin!) Underarmor is a blessing, give those a try!

#2 - Bring a taste for dried, freeze dried, and frozen fruits and veggies. I've had a few of the fruits here and they aren't very good, rather bland and tough. I've been snacking on bags of dried apples and frozen strawberries from the Costco here (it's called Three Bears and you don't need a card for it! But it is smaller.). I have yet to get into frozen veggies yet because I hate vegetables in the first place and only like them raw and fresh. But I know I must do something about that.

#3 - Bring money. As much as you can. Especially if you did what we did and got rid of a lot of stuff to make it easier to get here. Also, food can be more expensive as well, though gas and utilities are about the same. And you'll have to winterize your vehicle every year. Not to mention if you change your mind or decide you don't like it here, it costs an awful lot to go back!

4# - Bring a good vehicle. Trucks seem to have the most difficult time in the snow here. SUVs and front wheel drive cars seem best. Our Yaris is doing just dandy since we got the studded tires.

5# - Bring a sense of humor. Things can seem very weird here at times, with the tweakers and the greater freedom to be, well, strange. There are lots of characters, probably because they can't, or won't, fit in anywhere else.

6# - Bring everything you love. You may not find it here. I gave away my oils, incense, candles, and other things thinking there'd be a store like my favorite one in California, but there isn't. I'll have to replenish my supply by mail order, looks like. Don't count on there being certain stores or certain brands here.

7# - Bring a ton of patience. There are very few roads getting into and out of Anchorage, so when there's an accident, things back up for hours and there's no way of getting around. People will do and say strange things that you aren't used to. Weather can certainly screw with your plans. We were having 80 mile an hour winds just a couple of days ago, and then it was freezing, and now it's mild again. Still hoping for a white Christmas, for crying out loud! If I can't get it in Alaska, where can I?!

Um, I guess I'll stop there. Can't really think of anything else right now. Feel free to pepper my blog with questions, I love to give advice! (Not so great at taking it, though. Gotta work on that, right, Myn?)

Oh, about the hair thing. I'll keep it long for now. Logan likes it and I've started putting it up again, which helps. I've tried a few different spray in things to keep the static down, but so far, nothing is working. May try dryer sheets next.

What I need now are all natural, tried and true methods for clearing up acne. Mine's raging out of control now that I'm off birth control. I'd forgotten how bad it gets. Any suggestions?

Impending doom...

Tomorrow, all insanity busts out as the interviewing begins. We've probably got over 200 people planning to drop by tomorrow. Apparently this new store is a big excitement in this area.

Since we've secured our apartment, we're back to work, running around and buying a lot of stuff for the new store, making things, preparing for the interviews, etc. I'm tired.

Our stay has been extended as well. Instead of coming back to California this Monday, we're coming back Wednesday. And instead of leaving for good on Wednesday the 17th, we're leaving on Monday the 15th. This also means that we'll be frantically moving everything into the container in one day instead of two and a half days. That's going to be hell, since we haven't even repacked a lot of the stuff we had unpacked while living at my Mums and Daddums' house.

Hmm. I guess we'll be packing Wednesday night immediately upon arrival! Won't that be fun.

Can't you just smell the odor of sarcasm fairly wafting from your computer right now?

We've been eating a lot of food the last few days. I know restaurants give way too much food, but I didn't really notice it until I was eating out every single meal. At least we're not paying for it (except for a bloated tummy, perhaps.)

Haven't been able to see or experience much of Alaska. But I heard that the lake right here in town is used for ice skating in the winter! I can't wait to see that!

It's been pretty cold, but it's amazing how warm 45 degrees can feel when the sun is out. It was wet and cloudy for half of the day today, but the sun broke through in the afternoon. The morning before yesterday there was frost on the car. I bet there will be frost on the car tomorrow, too! Wonder when it will snow. I think I need to get some ear muffs.

Logan and I got new cell phones. The plan we got with these allows us to make calls throughout the United States, and we still get things like anytime night and weekend minutes, etc.

Sorry, Melly Bean. That was one of the reasons I had to get off the phone so quick today. That and the fact that our plan is prorated right now, so we didn't have very many minutes to use in the first place before we get our first bill. And my time got seriously screwed with today as well.

Oy. I'm totally turned around in my head. Whose life is this? Did someone trade with me and not tell me?! Going dark.

Time flies when you're working your ass off

Wow, I can't believe a whole week has zipped by since my last post. I've just been working, eating, and sleeping for the most part.

A few more details are stepping into the light as we roll along to our big Leaving California date. We'll be leaving in the afternoon on October 2nd for a week in Alaska to find an apartment and conduct the interviews and whatnot. We'll be coming back on October 8th, probably in the evening. We've decided to board the cats at the kennel I used to work at instead of taking them with us. We don't want to put them through more than one plane flight.

Then we'll be staying in California until October 17th. The pod for shipping all our stuff and our car will be delivered to the store's parking lot around the 10th or so. We'll be working the rest of the time.

I'm very frustrated with how much time we've been putting into working. I was wanting to do all kinds of things and see all kinds of people before we leave, and right now it looks like none of that is going to be happening. We spend too much time working and commuting to do much else. We have to plan to take the cats to the vet, reorganize all our stuff and repack it so it can travel in the pod safely, and to top it all off, the last weekend in September will be spent working because they're having some big weekend celebration at the store and will require every employee to be there.

I miss my friends so much, and I haven't even left yet. Does that seem right to you?

Tomorrow kicks off the intensive training for me. I only get today off and then work for the next five days. No telling how many hours I'll be putting in, since the lady training me is only going to be in town those five days and I want to learn as much as possible before she leaves.

Got my first paycheck finally. It's more than I've ever made on my own before. Too tired to really appreciate it, though.

Let's have a party next Saturday. We can celebrate Melly Bean's 29.95 birthday and have a mighty fine big damn shindig. That's the only day off I know I'll be having next. Or maybe we could wait and hope I have the Sunday after that off, since that's Melly Bean's actual birthday. If someone can plan things, I can supply the money for the supplies! We can watch Firefly and Serenity and repeat all the best lines right along with our favorite characters.

Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go... and still have the feeling that you wanted to stay?