Monday, March 31, 2008

Where was I, where was I...

... oh, yes! (Name that musical!)

Actually I can't remember all that I was going to write about before I was so rudely interrupted by my affectionate husband... who has not been able to be affectionate for the last month or so.

But all his hard work has paid off. He got a glowing report from the corporate people who came to check things out.

Only problem is today he should have been able to come home a decent time. With me. To actually have dinner at dinner time.

But scheduling snafu has left him stuck till closing time. So here I sit. Alone again, naturally. (And quoting from songs of all genres. Sheesh.)

Snow. I mentioned snow last time. Ha. Hardly any of it stayed on the ground. It was gone by morning. And it wasn't even sunny today! Still very chilly.

California was, of course, beautiful weather-wise. About 70 degrees, blue skies, etc. My best friend's wedding day was absolutely perfect for a game of croquet with the Queen on the lawn.

Yes, she had croquet at her wedding, complete with flamingos, a la Alice in Wonderland. And lots of tea pots, flowers, and little sandwiches with the crusts trimmed.

I admit it was a very rocky start. The bride's mom and sister were bickering back and forth about things that didn't need to be discussed right in front of the bride (sorry, Mom and Sis, but it's true), who, by the way, looked like she was about to vault across the room for a trash can to throw up in. We were running late, to boot.

Walking up the aisle, she looked like she was trying to hide behind the ringlets around her face and shrink inside her veil. I snuck a look to make sure she wasn't wearing sneakers.

But the moment she stood by her husband-to-be's side, it was like everything snapped into place. The rest of the wedding was fantastic and the bride and groom looked very happy, even during the cleanup time afterward.

The funniest thing happened to yours truly during the wedding toasts. I didn't have a chance to prepare anything, though I was wracking my brains with what I could say. Listing all our inside jokes would take hours and make no sense to anyone else. Making her blush was out, too, because she was already the proverbial blushing bride. Besides, the ones before me got to say the corny things that I could come up with last minute, anyway.

I soon discovered I had another problem; the garter that the maid of honor had created for each woman in the bridal party had several charms attached to it. I had it on my left leg and had crossed my right leg on top of the charms.

My pantyhose became affixed to said charms, causing quite a difficulty in standing up. Not to mention the fact that detaching it hastily could create a big hole in my hose.

When the torch was passed to me, I had my skirt hitched up almost to my hips under the table, trying to unweave the hose from the charms. When I realized it was my turn, I put my hands on the table and said, "No, thanks."

Several people were shocked. After all, I had known my beloved Mellybean for longer than anyone else up there (I think). In fact, if I wasn't already married, I met as well have married her myself.

Matthew even commented, "The ham is passing up the spotlight?!"

But they moved on rather quickly and I think my makeup did a good job of masking my flaming cheeks.

Of course, now that it's over, I can think of a million things I could have said.

But I'm sure deep down, Mellybean knows it all anyway. That's what best friends are for.

But what are vampire eggbeaters?!

3 comments:

Matthew said...

So that explains it! I knew there had to be something wrong. I don't remember delivering the line about the ham and the spotlight--although I do remember saying "Rhode Island passes."
While we're on the subject, I was also wondering what Mom of the Bride did w/ the three boxes of imported English tea biscuits I bought. If you're listening, MOTB, please give those to Melynda; they're part of my gift.
What else? Oh, yes, "A Little Night Music!"

Sparklecat said...

Well, I don't know who said it, but I assumed it was you. Someone said it, though!

Cookie to Matthew again!

Dark Rapunzel said...

"New York abstains, courteously." I believe that was also said. I swear, I thought you were unhappy with me for some mysterious reason and that was why you abstained... Well, thank goodness for the long tablecloths! I did receive the biscuit/cookies after the wedding. The MOTB said they just got lost in the shuffle, along with several other things.

Thank you, Sparkle! I love you! And someday we WILL remember what Vampire Eggbeaters means!