Monday, October 8, 2007

A great rush of wind...

That's just my sigh of relief at the whole interview weekend being over.

Of course, now an opposite breeze is blowing because I'm sucking in air as I get ready to go through our stack of people to call and say yes, you made it through the meat grinder and are being offered a job!

And that's just for the front end. You should see the stack of "no" people from ALL the departments that I have to send letters of "thanks, but no thanks" to. It's huge. Barely stays upright. Think of all the envelopes I'll have to address. At least I'll have plenty to do when we're back in town.

I learned a lot through the interviews I conducted this weekend. Especially of what not to do when you are interviewing for a job! I'll share my newfound wisdom and hope that none of these people are reading this.

1. Don't wear shirts that say things like Genius by Birth, Slacker by Choice.

2. Don't wear your baseball cap sideways.

3. Don't walk into the interview in a manner that says, "I'm into depressing music and sitting in the dark contemplating my pathetic existence" or "My daddy's making me do this." It doesn't matter how you're dressed when we see a gait like that.

4. Don't plop down in a chair and demand a lead position or management position in your department of choice. You may find that's the person you're talking to.

5. Please leave God out of it. It's totally cool if you're religious, but if we think you may start harassing customers and asking if they've been saved, you won't have a snowball's chance in... Well, you know.

6. Don't try to dig yourself out of that grave you've found yourself in. You'll probably just make it worse.

7. Don't try to speak around that foot in your mouth. By that time, it would probably be best just to nod and smile and get the heck out. We may admire your grace in dashing around the long tables as you fly out the door. Or for humor's sake, try adding the other foot. Or someone else's foot.

Okay, I've run out of witticisms for now. I'm going to go to bed and dream about the stack of "no hires" falling on top of me and smothering me.

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