One hurdle down, a hundred to go ...

So I finally did the video for my Group Power certification. I haven't even seen it yet and I don't want to. I'll make a copy for my mom, but if I watch it I'll just criticize myself to death and there's no point. So once I get that in my hot little hands I'll send it away and be done with that.

So I guess my next goal should be finishing the personal trainer certification. I've looked up testing times and they have a bunch for next month at UAA. It's testing by proxy up here in Alaska; ACE never does live tests up here as far as I've seen. Not enough money in it, I'll bet. I hate not having someone there who can answer questions, though.

And yes, I'm still waffling about it. But as I have no other goals in mind and there's nothing up here for work except retail and summer temp, I don't really see what other choice I have. So I'll be signing up for the test soon and hope that gives me the motivational kick in the butt to get it done. Since it costs about $250 and a retake is $145, it better motivate me!

Things are heating up!

Okay, well, they're heating up in comparison to our winter temps. I'd say upper 40s and low 50s is pretty darn warm!

I'm feeling pretty random today: not much to do and way too tired to do it. Lots of things floating around in my head and way too short-attention-span-theatre to think any of it through. Here's a short list, though:

Auditions for "Pride and Prejudice" are coming next month. I'm really excited and also worried. My husband would rather I not do this show since it means rehearsals will be going summer long. And summer is short! I totally see where he's coming from, but I look at it differently from him: I'm not getting any younger and I've done ONE show since we moved here. ONE. If I keep waiting and waiting for perfect timing, I know I'll look back and say, "What the f@%# was wrong with me?!" And maybe I'm too old for the part I want already! As usual, it depends on the guys that are cast. If they get nothing but teenagers, I'm out of the loop; I'm too old to play against teenagers and too young to play the mother. Ah, well.

I'm studying for the personal trainer certificate so I can add to my hours at the club by being a personal trainer as well as a fitness instructor. But I admit I'm not studying nearly as much as I should be, and I think I know the reason: I'm not really sure if I want to do this. Frankly, I like being at home and just teaching. I know I'm hardly making any money and that's a big issue, but I like this current situation. Logan likes it too: I'm home when he is, I can keep the house clean and do the shopping and anything else that needs doing. I always have the same days off as he does. But I know the lack of money is always on his mind. And he's pushing me toward the personal training thing. It's not a bad push, but it's pushing all the same. I'm dragging my feet because I'm not sure I'm going to like it. And then what will I do?

I'm really enjoying the classes I teach. Adding the Group Power is also adding to my personal power: Not to be narcissistic or anything like that, but I like the hard body I'm getting. I'm particularly proud of my abs, and if I were a different type of girl (and if I lived in a warmer state) I'd show them off! But I'm not, so I don't.

My karate class is really going well, but the longer it runs, the more aware I am that my students are not going to be able to progress if I keep the class at the club. I've discovered I'm not really going to get any support from Logan. I know, I'm surprised too. He's the original karate freak. But he's too busy with his job. Also, since money is always an obsession for him, he doesn't want me to go rent a space for my own business. He thinks it'll just take money away. We talk about using the garage, but that's going to take some work.

Argh. Lots of things going on in my mind and not much of it is pleasant. It's too easy to just vacillate in limbo instead of pressing forward when I'm not sure which "forward" I want to press to. Sigh.

Focusing on Fitness and Fun

So I've officially quit my job in the Fitness Department at Sports Authority. My last day was a couple of days ago and I already miss many of the people I worked with. I loved the social aspect, even though most of the time the job itself was rather boring. I'm not a huge fan of retail, but it keeps popping up in my life no matter how I try to avoid it.

Now I'll be concentrating on my fitness instructor career and adding yet another certification to my list: Personal Training. I'm a bit nervous about this; one of the things I like about the group class environment is that it can remain impersonal. I don't have to know a person's life history or get buried in personal hang-ups. They come to class, we have some fun exercising, all of us together, and then we go.

Personal training, well, it's right there in the title: personal. You're there to help the client achieve their health goals in life, so you have to know a lot more about them to start off. And you can't force anyone to do anything. If they don't truly want to help themselves, there isn't anything I can do.

I realize right now I'm thinking too much about the bad sides of things. It's new, it's different, it's scary. And there are some things with the club itself that are ticking me off right now as well, so that doesn't help my mood. But it's something that my Masters Degree in Kinesiology will actually be an asset to. And I am excited about this. Really. >rolls eyes<

I also realize that I need to get out more. We've spent the whole two years (nearly three) we've lived in Alaska fighting for every second of time to enjoy life: hiking, seeing friends, whatever. Because of our jobs, we've had to miss out on so much. Logan summed it up when a coworker asked him if he was going to get out and do things this summer. Logan had answered that we're going to try. The coworker responded, "You say that every year."

And he's right. Each summer we say we're going to do those things that many move to Alaska to do. And our jobs, the lack of similar days off, and our responsibilities have made it thus far near impossible.

So when an issue came up in regards to my class schedule at the absolute last minute, I had to put my foot down and let them know that I would not be available on the day they wanted. It made me feel bad to do that, and yet I was not informed of this change until the day before they submitted the new schedule. What else could I do? My relationship and our well being are important to me.

Now that we have a house, things will settle into a more definite pattern. What we do this summer will set the stage for the rest of our lives here, I think. So we want to make the best of things.

On that positive note: anyone up for karaoke? >big grin<

That change in the air ...

I'm feeling that change in the air a little early this year. I think last year it didn't really start happening until April, but we've had a few weeks in the upper 30s and low 40s. I'm hearing the sounds of dripping in the mornings when I step outside to start my car. My car needs less warm up time. And our driveway is a slush pit for the second time this year. Break out the shovel!

Of course, in true Valley fashion, the temp still drops down to the teens and freezes everything anew. Or dumps a few random inches of snow on top of the slush. Wasilla weather is anything except boring!

That's not the only thing that may be changing, folks ...

I haven't been able to perform in any local theatre for more than a year now. My current line of work plus teaching prevents that from being a possibility. But I am in the process of shaking things up a bit. I'm just trying to decide how best to do it. I'll let you know how that goes.

I went to see "Chicago: The Muscial" in Anchorage this month, a couple of weeks after seeing "RENT" in Sacramento. It was lots of fun. Even Logan enjoyed it, which was shocking in and of itself. One of my theatre friends also went to see it and said, "VPA could do it better!"

I agree. Maybe not as flashy, but I think we could do better than sticking with the revival's modernization of a story based in the 1920s. Part of the fun of watching a show from another time period is the costuming and mannerisms that were missing from this rendition.

But I will say that the lady who played Roxie was an absolute riot and had me laughing at things that weren't as funny in other versions. Too, too adorable.

Things have been quiet on the work front. It's been pretty boring most days. But I'm coming up on my one year anniversary with TSA, so it'll be interesting to see what happens then. And in the meantime, I get some revision work done on my "Sparkless" novel while I twiddle my thumbs in the dead times.

I've been getting comments on my "A Little Background on Me" blog post all those years ago, before we moved from California to Alaska. I admit to some confusion. They are anonymous and some of them make no sense at all. I sometimes wonder if I'm missing something. I'm pretty unobservant most days, you know. But it also makes me think, "Hey! Someone noticed me! Yay!"

I welcome comments, even if they're just ads.

That's how pathetic I am. >wink<

RENT!

First things first: I have read Fairest, The Two Princesses of Bamarre, Salamandastron, and I'm in the middle of Melting Stones. Still haven't touched that big reading list, but I did get my library card right before leaving on my vacation, so that'll help me accomplish that in a more cost effective way, I hope!

I am here in California once again, getting my fill of friends and family and extremely MOIST air before heading back to the dry cold and regular life. I miss my hubby, my animals, and my body misses my teaching. But I'm having tons of fun.

My friends and I went to see RENT in Sacramento last night. While it's usually difficult to get me to go see shows (I want to be IN them a lot more than WATCH them!), I was sold on the fact that the two lead roles were being reprised by the original actors, Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp.

While I am not the type to get starry eyed, I will admit that Anthony Rapp is right up there with Nathan Fillion on my "nearly rabid fan-dom" list. I read his book, I love his voice, and he is someone I would love to meet.

So when I heard that the actors were coming outside to meet and greet after the show, I was torn. Two of my friends went to get autographs; two other friends and I hung out on the fringes of the occasionally screaming crowd and watched. We were not fond of the idea of joining the giddy masses just to shake a famous person's hand or get their indecipherable signatures on a program that will probably get shoved into a drawer and forgotten.

However.

For a brief few seconds I saw Anthony's face as he signed posters for the people pressing close. (I found out later my two friends got to talk to him and some of the others.) It was soooooooo hard to resist the urge to rush up, beat my way through the crowd, stick out my hand and screech, "Hi! Nice to meet you! I'm a huge fan!"

What a war going on inside my head. I hate rabid fans: actors are human, too. Rabid fans can be scary and nerve-wracking. Drooling and foaming at the mouth is like saying these people are better than us little creatures that scurry around them begging for a touch, a glance, a smile.

And yet I sincerely appreciate what they do. It was clear Adam had a cold or a sickness of some kind while he was performing last night, and yet he still delivered a powerful, electric performance. I think about the amount of time and effort they put in, and yet they still take the time to come out and show some appreciation for their fans. (Well, some of them did, anyway.) And rabid fans I think have a tendency to forget that these actors have their own needs that should be respected.

So when my friends brought me a program signed by a few of the cast members (not Anthony, unfortunately, but "Maureen," "Mimi," and the female soloist for "Seasons of Love"), I was totally floored by their generosity and thoughtfulness (my friends' and the actors'!) And very happy to have a piece of memorabilia of such a fantastic experience. Nothing beats seeing such a passionate show in person, no matter where you're sitting.

So I will admit to being a closet rabid fan: I do my drooling and frothing at the mouth inside my own private thoughts, as is proper. Hee hee hee!

Wind, books, and dogs!

What do these three things have in common? They're all driving me crazy!

The wind has been gusting somewhere between 50 and 100 miles per hour for the last few days. Sometimes it's kind of funny, like when the wind blew me along the corridor to the front door of the club today. It was like effortless jogging!

But when you can't even set you garbage can out for pickup because it blows away, or when thick drifts of leftover snow get packed into the road or your driveway, or your power goes out for hours and hours, that's not fun at all. I really hate it when it sucks my breath away and takes me a few moments to inhale again. I feel like I'm suffocating.

I haven't touched the 100 book list yet this year, though I have read a novel of Redwall and Ella Enchanted so far this year. I think I'll need to get a library card to accomplish this reading task I've set myself. And my own novel is still inching along at a glacial speed. I may be able to finish it sometime in the next geological age.

My dog Bruno decided to take a jaunt through the neighborhood with his new canine pals. A lot of people in this area let their dogs run around loose, which doesn't bother me too much as long as they don't start fights with mine or damage our things. Since I was working on digging out the drift that has blocked my husband's truck in the driveway, I let the dogs have a little fun and run in the yard.

Uffda was a good girl. When Bruno left the yard, I didn't see him, but she did. I could tell she badly wanted to follow him but she came back to me when I called her. I gave her love and brought her inside for a cookie.

I went back out to call for Bruno. I was sure he couldn't hear me thanks to the dratted wind, so I had to go back inside to thaw a bit before I could search for him. I grabbed a leash while I was in there.

I walked along the road (or trudged, since I was wearing heavy boots.) I passed the next door neighbor and reached the duplex on the other side before i saw him. Sure enough, he was running around with two or three other dogs. When I called him, he pulled up short. One of his friends ran right up to me, stumpy tail wagging, so I petted him. Then I called Bruno again.

He took as long as he possibly could have, moving like a snail because he knew he was in trouble and was in no hurry to reap it. But he came straight to me. Since he came when I called and sat when I told him, I merely put the leash on him and said, "Say goodbye to your friends." He walked calmly beside me, not pulling as he usually wants to do. All the way to the house. No cookie for him today.

I can't wait until spring.

Flashbacks

After the last post, I was struck with the sudden desire to look back on my other New Year's posts. There were only two others since I started this blog. Here's a very brief recap of what was going on:

In January 2008, we hung out with one of our coworkers and shot off fireworks in his backyard. We had also adopted Bruno right around that time. We were working, eating, and sleeping and that was pretty much it (though we did squeeze in a drive to Talkeetna and saw our first moose after three months of living in Alaska.)

In 2009, things had quite dramatically changed. I helped my new writerly friends make a video to enter in a contest and we got second place. I'm still very proud of that video and I remember how much fun we had making it (and how cold it was, too!)

But the really big thing last January was "The Spitfire Grill." I was reading about the opening, watching the Youtube videos, and even read all the way through February and the last show. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about that night.

See why I added theatre to my list of resolutions this year?